I am in my mid 20’s and I was always planning on having some children around the age of 30. However, the current cost of living crisis is really squeezing a lot of people’s money and I am starting to think that having kids will be too much of a financial burden, which is a horrible way of putting it but essentially that is what it has come to.
I was just wondering if anyone else in this age group, or others, feels the same way that they may not be able to afford to have children.
31 comments
It already is. I highly doubt I’ll ever earn enough to both have children and own my home.
I doubt it – having one kid is expensive but having multiple has diminishing costs. Eventually you get access to social housing that is reserved for massive families too.
So I would guess it will be more like in the global south where lots of children are had and they care for you in your old age, in theory.
I’m looking at having children in the near future, and it’s a real worry. It’s so expensive to have kids and the economy isn’t looking like picking up any time soon. I imagine I’m like a lot of people where I can probably afford them, but it wouldn’t leave much money left each month.
Yes dont bother with children. Enjoy life while you can. They would only suffer more than we already are.
It’s a no brainer.
Poverty has never stopped people from having children in the past. I haven’t fact checked this, but I thought statistically wealthy or more educated people actually have fewer children? Some people may personally decide not to have children for financial reasons though, only you can decide what your priorities are.
What makes it worse, there is going to be no retirement for our generation precisely because we aren’t having children.
It’s probably too expensive now for many. Definitely is for me.
There’s already evidence that the middle classes are having fewer children, whilst meanwhile the poor and the rich continue as before. I suspect this trend will continue.
It’s all about housing and as house prices go up and up, the middle classes will buy smaller properties and later, as is happening. The couple that once will have bought a house in their late twenties is now buying a flat in their mid thirties. Unless something changes – and I’m not convinced it will – this is just going to continue.
It was too expensive to have children 30 years ago. Don’t believe me? Ask mum.
Up to you what you spend your money on, isn’t it?
There is certainly a cost associated with having kids, so you have to make the choice about whether you want the experience of parenthood… or if you just want more stuff.
Thinking back to my parents & grandparents etc, I’d say they had less materialistically than I do and they never even travelled abroad, however they were helped by social housing early in their lives, with eventually helped them get onto the property ladder.
I’ve spent much of my 20s training / studying and now living in a house share in London as I approach 30, with very little capacity to save due to a relatively low salary. It certainly doesn’t feel like the pieces are in place to consider having any children for the foreseeable future!
If you want to have a comfortable life and are not absolutely minted then probably yes. Just 1 child costs an extra like 1600 a month in nursery fees, extra food, nappies, toiletries, clothes etc.
At 2 children, if they’re both in nursery, then it is probably cheaper for one parent to not work for a couple of years, meaning your household income is now reduced/halved.
I can imagine lots of couples not being able to afford this. Once they’re in primary school though the cost dramatically reduces. School trips, music lessons, sports, extra food etc will not come close to what nursery fees were!
I’m 30 with a 5 year old. He hasn’t stopped me from doing things like going back to uni or buying a house. If you want to be a parent you’ll make it work, even if you have less money to play around with.
I think there will always be people who want children enough to make sacrifices for them, whether they are poor or not. I don’t think people are priced out of having families any more now than they were in historic times.
In the future?! It is right now! I would actively disuade anyone from having children unless have a VERY good salary and/or lots of money stashed away
People are gonna flame me for this but kids aren’t that expensive.
Kids don’t need as much as people make out, and while people talk about how sad it is for children to “go without”, as long as they are fed, clothed, housed, loved, and safe, they will be happy.
I grew up poor, as did most of the kids around me. What I have noticed is that it wasn’t just being poor that hurt us, it was when the adults we depended on couldn’t or wouldn’t put us first.
Addiction, unchecked mental illness and personality disorders in parents is what hurts children.
There are cheap alternatives for almost everything you need for a child.
On top of that, we are extremely lucky to have social safety nets. Most people get child benefit even if they work.
It’s only as expensive as you want it to be.
ETA: everyone is making an excellent point about childcare costs that I hadn’t considered! I’ve always been around people who had at least one, if not both parents at home – usually because they are low income enough to depend on benefits. I do often forget that there isn’t a solid line between rich and poor (growing up i genuinely considered any family with a *car* as rich, because I didn’t know *anyone* with a car who didn’t seem to have a lot of money.)
So I guess the question should be “can I afford childcare” rather than “can I afford children”
If you wait until you can afford it to have kids then you will never have them. At the end of the day all the other stuff is just money. You’ll find a way to muddle through it when the time comes and when you have kids you will change your priorities. I spend far less now than I did before I had a family because I don’t tend to go out as much and squander money as I did when I had few responsibilities.
You should put things in perspective, even the poorest people in the UK today live a lifestyle that is leagues ahead of what most people in human history and indeed most people on Earth today have ever had. Well all those have had and will have children so the idea you can’t afford it is simply not true.
Me and my wife are around 30 and we have similar conversations.
For me having a family is too important. I see the coming recession but don’t know how long that will last or what the long-term knock-on effects will be. Imagine however we decide not to have kids for fear of this and then in 10-20 years we realise we actually did ok and now have more money than we thought we would but we’re too old to start a family. Even if we were no richer but we missed out on having a family. For me the family comes first and then we find a way as with everything in life ✌️
The main cost is childcare and/or your loss of income. And that’s already super expensive.
It already is, countries are seeing a decline in birth rate because its so expensive
We will be forced to have babies to provide a cheap alternative to turkey at Christmas
People will say, oh if you want kids, you’ll manage to afford it somehow.
However, I think the world we live in now, where we don’t have to have kids, the mentality is more..do I really want to have to manage though.
There’s no right or wrong answer to this, it just really depends on how much you want children.
Expenses, climate change etc.
Not only do I worry about being unable to afford a house let alone kids, I worry about how things will be for them when they’re older. Would they even be able to buy property? Would it be just rented? Would uni education still have student loans? How will climate change affect them as it’s set to be much worse by 2040-60 let alone when they would be older.
Tbh because I studied climate science I have doubts our generation will do well/there may be early deaths in 2060 let alone children or grandchildren.
It’s a choice between having a disposable income and having children.
In the future? It’s already too expensive?
It’s not that kids are expensive. It’s the family house to keep them in. It’s running 2 cars in order to manage everything. It’s the responsibility to ensure they have all they need for upto 20 years. Obviously I’m coming from a middle class perspective in a wealthy country.
The millennials I know are choosing not to have kids. My own gen z kids show no sign of having kids.
When I was young having kids held no interest to me or my partner. But life happens and we had 1 and then decided to have a second, in the late 90s, early 00s. We didn’t aspire to a des res or a particularly lush lifestyle and we enjoyed raising our kids but it’s hard work and choices have to be made. There’s no way we could do now what we were able to do then.
I’m 34, married, wife is 35 and seriously considering never having kids. I don’t want to raise a child in a flat. I owe a child better than that. And our biological clock is seriously ticking.
If we can afford it later in life maybe we’ll adopt.
It’s already is basically a sacrifice, do you have kids or do you buy a house, luckily we decided long ago to stay child free so we don’t need to worry about it. It’s not completely financially impossible but you would be basically giving up any kind of life you have now to prioritise the kids
I was just having this discussion with my son – I told him that if I were to choose having children now I would not do it. That is not a reflection on my love for my kids, but I watch what women go through now. If you stay home you’re lazy, you work you’re ignoring them. Expected to work up until you go into labor, 12 weeks off if you’re lucky, 2 if you’re not. They’ve cut benefits for women and children down to nothing, child care is more than your mortgage. And don’t accidently get pregnant because it will be all on you, you may or may not get support depending on whether the courts or your baby daddy wish to grant it
And they wonder why to requests for sterilization have gone up
Ive given up on thinking il have children. Not just due to cost, but the state of the world just isnt one i’d want my children to grow up in
As someone who worked in childcare at hmrc and took hundreds of calls a day from parents crying that they can’t pay rising nursery costs I can tell you it’s already unliveable for most. Especially if you fall in the middle category of society I.e both parents working making an average wage. Too high to get benefits, not high enough to have disposable. Most mums end up quitting work as it’s more viable to not work and claim now than it is to work 40 hours, not see your child and spend your entire wage on a nursery. Not exactly progressive as a society that basically forces women to quit to have children but it’s probably being designed that way to push “traditional values”
I’m seeing so many arguments for and against. As a parent of 2. One of us is full time, the other part time (reduced from full time since the first child). I feel as though I must say something because if it was not for the situation we are in, some responses would seriously depress me and make me think nothing in life is possible unless you’re on a 50k plus income, so why bother. So to dispel some worries for those people, have a read….
I want to ask what planet some people live on? Is it in the real world or is it one where they must have the most expensive house they could buy with their earnings and have the best car they could have on monthly drip? and have a mobile phone that costs £50 a month? (this may be a bit of rage bait but please read on).
We do own our home, which I know we’re very lucky (own in the loosest sense as we pay mortgage). We don’t have brand new cars but they are not bangers and we own them outright, so don’t pay anything out a month for them.
We don’t make a lot of money but we are also **not on any benefits.**
I saw another thread about people not being able to survive on under 35k or something just as a couple, let alone kids. What is the money being spent on?!? We manage with MUCH less.
Just for context and not to boast because I think some people might get depressed by what some are saying here. We have a mortgage, we have a PS5, Xbox, Switch, expensive TV, upper mid smart phones (which we bought sim free and pay peanuts for enough data and unlim texts/minutes), we pay for Netflix and Disney+ and live in a well kept clean modern home, actually recently had some new furniture, flooring and bits (I DIY everything I can, but will pay a pro if I am not good at something) so I appreciate new flooring would have cost quadruple what it did. We look after everything we own and nothing gets treated like it’s disposable.
The children get love and attention and every weekend we make sure to go somewhere for an experience, whether this is to an outdoor park, the woods, bike riding, indoor play centers etc. We absolutely love just ‘us’ being together. The gadgets are more for us as the children play with their dolls, puzzles, slide, games, imagination! Variety and simply having fun is all children need and for bigger things in the future, just plan ahead, save a bit.
We don’t eat cold oats for dinner, shivering in worn out tatty old clothes in finger-less gloves like some people would make you believe those on lower incomes live like.
We don’t really holiday in the usual sense. Neither of us could take a break for a week and sit on the beach and do nothing, that is our idea of hell. When we go on holiday we go to do activities. Holidays to go and just get wrecked, were never our thing either.
The 2 children are young and pre school age, we manage with the free hours and top up a bit for when my partner is working. Managed and organised well, the cost isn’t a burden.
We wake up in the morning happy and comfortable and we go to bed exactly the same.
Your priorities change a bit too when your become a parent not really because you have to, because you want to.
This, is all written by someone who was incredibly apprehensive about having children. Now, I would never ever want it any other way.
Hope this gives some hope and faith to those living an ordinary middle of road life that are worried they aren’t earning 1 Mil a year by the time they hit 25.