Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years and we have a good relationship with some regular ups and downs.
Her mom never wanted to meet me or talk to me, and basically refused to.
Her parents are divorced and I have a good relationship with her dad. I feel we get along pretty well.
I consider myself to be a nice guy, and I treat my girlfriend right, so I don’t think it’s because of something I did.
The thing is, my girlfriend and her mom are like best-friends and I feel like this situation can be, if not already, affecting our relationship.
My girlfriend tried to talk about it with her a few times but didn’t really get anywhere. She didn’t get any reason what so ever, and her mom is somewhat avoiding the topic.
Another thing to add, her whole extended family is one big mess.
Her older brother is an abuser and treats my girlfriend poorly; they haven’t spoken for years.
Her grandma and aunt (from the dad side) used to send disturbing messages to her mom and lately to her.
The two sides of the extended family aren’t in touch and her mom’s side doesn’t communicate with themselves, so she basically isn’t really in touch with anyone in her family but her mother, father and sister.
All of her uncles are divorced, in my family there are literally no divorces.
My girlfriend doesn’t have a lot of friends either, which is not a bad sign, inevitably, but she can’t really afford to seize on communication with her mom.
I don’t know what to do with this situation.
In this current situation, I don’t want to see her mom at our wedding. I don’t want her to know our future children or be present at their birth.
To be honest, I don’t want to see her at all, and I don’t want my GF to be in touch with her. I’m afraid of the future, from the toxicity she can inject into my GF, from the time she gets older and she will need my GF next to her.
My parents are saying it’ll bite me in the ass one way or another, and they have nothing against my girlfriend.
What’s your insight, smart fellas? *Please help me* 🙁
**TLDR:** Girlfriend’s mom doesn’t want to meet or talk to me, even after 4 years of relationship. I feel like it’s stopping our relationship from evolving since they are best friends.
1 comment
My thoughts are that I am scared for you. Her mother is a toxic individual and likely is negative toward you in her discussions with her daughter. Maybe she isn’t, but if she is, that is going to create a rift between you and your GF.
What is going to happen when she wants to come over and play with the grandbabies and whatnot? Is she an overbearing type? Does your GF do what she says? Get advice from her?
That is what would be scary to me. Your GF comes from a family that views divorce as normal and OK.
You need to express to your GF that for you guys to go on, you need a good relationship with MIL. And then figure out together how to make this happen. If you can’t make it happen, you might want to consider a new GF as she would have a high probability of following in her family’s footsteps.