I just don’t understand the RULES sometimes
Here is the thing that happens sometimes: When I’m in a small group, either for work or friends, someone will have a 1 on 1 conversation with me. It won’t be anything super personal, or inflammatory about someone else, and nowhere do they say it’s a secret, or ask for not to tell anyone, or anything. Maybe it’s a funny story, maybe it’s a work idea they have, etc. Something harmless.
Then at some point with the rest of the group I’ll bring it up – I liked their idea, or the story was funny, or something. And then they freak out afterwards or get awkward because I wasn’t supposed to say anything. The story was actually embarrassing, or their idea isn’t ready yet, or they didn’t want a specific person knowing about it.
Like, then fucking TELL me that!!!! Maybe I’m too much of a blabbermouth, I don’t know. I work for a Board and just today one of them told me his ideas, then I bring it up at the board meeting, only for him to tell me later he didnt want another board member hearing about it.
Feels like there was a class in school where everyone was taught this shit and I was home sick for it or something. I’m not a secretive person and I hate lying and liars, and I guess I just assume everyone else will be the same way.
Do you guys encounter this kind of thing? How do you just implicitly KNOW when you aren’t supposed to talk about things, if they seem harmless?
1 comment
Basically if somebody talks to you one-on-one, you don’t bring it up to anyone else. That was a conversation for you two and you two alone. By saying anything that was said between you two without expressed permission, or them saying it’s okay to tell people, you might be hurting any trust they had in you.
So I don’t think you missed a class but, have you ever thought about getting tested for ASD? This is an indicator for that, I work with 3 with it and I know that I can’t trust them at all without being very explicit. But when I am they will go to the grave with what I say.