So I take Uber on a regular basis, and 3 days ago I 21(f) met this guy 21(m) who was my driver, and we clicked immediately. The conversation went well and we laughed the whole entire time and I felt like we could get along. He’s 21 with a degree in IT/cybersecurity and has a good paying job, also super funny with a great taste in music which was playing during my ride.I also want to mention that I never really seen his face since I was in the back seat and he was wearing a hoodie. As we were nearing the end of my ride I asked for his Snapchat because I don’t give out my number.

So later that night we chatted for a bit and he asked to take me out for dinner the next day, which was yesterday and I agreed. I was really looking forward to the date all day and when the time came I was so excited, when I got in his car(I sat in the front seat of course) I got a closer look and while he is somewhat attracted, he looked different than what I thought, but I didn’t care at the time because everything else has been so sweet so far. Before dinner he decided to take me to an arcade and while it was fun he kept asking if I was having a good time which started to bother me after awhile because I told him yes many times already. I started to catch on that he must had bad experiences in the past or he’s just super insecure which later both turned out to be true. After the arcade we went to the restaurant which was super fancy in a good neighborhood and I notice throughout the night his table side manner wasn’t as good as I’d like it to be, but was fine and was something I was willing to work on. After dinner and a few drinks we went back to his car and we just sat and spoke for awhile, we did kiss but I didn’t particularly enjoy because he immediately tried to put his tongue in my mouth and I don’t like French kissing unless I really know someone. When asked if I wanted to go to a lake and I agreed because it wasn’t super late yet, but then when we got there he just started kissing me and immediately started reaching for my breast and I said we should slow down, he said he understood but after a few minutes he started again. If I’m being honest I just let it happen and we continued kissing ( which I still wasn’t enjoying ). After that he kept asking if I wanted to go to the back seat and I said no a few times and I asked if he even had a condom and he said no so I said there wasn’t a point because I’m not risking my future. Eventually he kept trying and touching me so I gave in and just let him give me head. I got a few calls from my parents so the activities didn’t last for long and he took me home.

One of my main issues is that normally when men are too pushy on me I just block them eventually and hope they get the hint, but while we were in the car he kept saying if I’m gonna ghost him, or stop talking to him and I reassured him that I wasn’t and he told me that’s what his last date said but she ended up blocking him as soon as he dropped her off. So when I got home I still texted him and said goodnight. This morning we texted here and there and I had some errands to run after work and he offered to take me so I don’t have to Uber around all day and I said yes. Today he didn’t try anything and he took me home without me having to ask. The only issue is he kissed me and called me babe before I got out the car which irritates me because I met him two days ago. He also talked about us possibly moving in together since I mentioned waiting to move out but I can’t afford it. My question is should I explain to him that I think we’re moving too fast and we should be friends and give him the opportunity to fix all of this or should I just block him because I’m not sure if I want to date this man. I know that seems childish of me but I hate clingy partners and the night before really rubbed me the wrong way. Any advice would help?

4 comments
  1. Whoa! Darling young woman. You REALLY need to learn to set boundaries. This is not okay.

    I can absolutely see why this guy has had “bad experiences.” He’s likely pulled this crap many times and, like you, the other young women realized, after they got home, that they didn’t stand firm on their boundaries.

    Not that he’s a “bad” guy necessarily, but he IS pushy, clingy, and moving way too fast.

    It’s not childish at all. This guy needs to grow up, big time. He also needs to learn to respect a “no.”

  2. Given that he is not great at following your instruction, I think it might be hard to teach him how to stop doing all the things that drive you away from him. And it’s not your responsibility to try. It’s okay to end things here. But it would be nice, if you told him the reasons, so he knows what he needs to work on.

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