I (25f) went on a date last night with 34M, probably the best I have been on in a while. I was all happy after and he seemed to be too-it went on for like 4 hours and nonstop talking, laughter, conversation. He kissed me goodbye and everything seemed great. We went to a barcade then another bar. I texted him today to thank him for taking me out and that I had a nice time. He immediately texts me he enjoyed spending time with me but that hes not the guy for me. I was shocked. I felt such a connection with him and it really seemed like he did too. He said he was really attracted to me- that Im smart, fun, really sweet and genuine after expressing he didnt want to see me again. I cant figure this shit out- he said he doesnt know but that I didnt do anything wrong at all, nothing off putting. He said he would be down to hangout/hookup (confusing) but didnt feel that deep connection with me. I just told him its fine, I understand and I appreciate him telling me and thats it basically, wanted to be mature about it. I felt like we talked about a variety of topics and just had a great time for a first date. Im confused about the deep connection because how can you feel that on a first date when youre just getting to know each other? I feel like that deep meaningful connection develops over time as you share things with each other.
I have never had this happen where I just feel so incredibly rejected by someone I just felt so good about off the bat. He did mention he got out of a long relationship recently and wasnt sure what he wanted (honestly probably a red flag). I am replaying this date over and over and trying to figure out what went wrong.
I think its especially hard as Ive been on so many first dates recently and they have all not led to a second date- I didnt feel as strongly about them as I did this guy off the bat. I am just getting so dejected about online dating and just want to give up honestly. I am trying to figure out a pattern, but I can’t quite figure out if something is wrong with me/what I can work on with myself. If you snoop my profile, you can see my hinge profile I posted a few months ago for background on me.
4 comments
You are just over the edge of being too young. Do you come off more like someone who is 30 or someone who is 21? I’m about his age and couldn’t do it.
I also don’t drink or smoke lol and not huge into partying
Sounds like he’s just not as into you as you’re into him. Maybe you want more than what he wants to give and he realized that and that’s why he’s ended it. But he’s a guy so he’s leaving casual sex on the table.
It stings a bit. Sucks.
My assumption from looking at your profile is you went out with a very handsome man who has a lot of options. Likely he’s looking for qualities he didn’t feel you possess. It is tough, but rejection happens. Don’t take it personally, it looks like you have a lot going for you. Good luck!