My best friend (24M) and I (24F) have been seeing each other for less than a year, and although I’ve been in a few relationships before, I think I’ve finally found something solid. Everything between us is going well, and I’m happy, but there is one exception.
He had always been the type of guy who preferred living life carefree, without additional obligations like a relationship, and just having fun. So this is something new for him, and I understand his anxiety and stress. But what bothers him is having to share this space with someone and having to think about someone else in addition to himself. He occasionally finds it frustrating that he can no longer engage in things that he used to enjoy when he was single, like casual flirting, small talk, fun crushes, time alone to think, etc. And now that he’s in a committed relationship, he feels like he’s limiting some things and this new change is what’s bringing anxiety and stress – about adjusting and adapting to the “unwritten ground rules” of a relationship.
I did let him know that he could stop if it got to be too much, but he isn’t even prepared for that because he doesn’t want to lose this.
I don’t know what to do. I know we both have strong feelings for each other, but I don’t know whether to continue this or put a stop to it because now I feel guilty if I’m putting any sort of pressure on him.
I just need some advice. Thank you!
tl;dr: I have a feeling that my partner isn’t ready for a committed relationship although he says he wants this. What do I do?
3 comments
You tell him what you want what your needs and wants are and if he can’t meet those it’s time to move on for the both of you
You are trying to have a relationship with someone who doesn’t want a relationship.
if he doesn’t want to respect the ground rules of a relationship, then he just isn’t ready to be in a relationship.