Unable to make eye contact and look at girls I like/find attractive

21 comments

1. I’ve felt similar, you feel bashful, unable to meet her eyes. I wouldn’t overthink it, the most I would recommend would be to prepare is eye contact with yourself in a mirror, practice with other people you are familiar with and translate it to her. From my experience I had darting eyes a lot but once I calmed down and focused on their eyes I couldn’t look away. Good luck and don’t overthink it, she’ll probably be nervous too!

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3. Practice makes perfect.

   Or you can cheat and focus on the space between her eyes.

4. Bruh tell me about that scary intense chest feeling u get when u make eye contact 😂😭 ikr

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6. Ok here’s the trick. You have to approach women with the thought of dick in your mind. Just fill your brain with dick over and over again when talking to them. Pictures of dick, sounds of dick, whatever you have to do. Just focus on the dick.

   This sounds like a shitpost but it’s not. I swear it works like a charm

7. It’s because you’re pressuring yourself

   Lao Tzu says that when people do an action for fun, they do it optimally cuz there’s no pressure and nothing to lose

   However if they want to win a tournament and their actions determine it, their ability is lessened because of the pressure we put to ourselves. When we put pressure, our conscious thinking gets in the way of performing our action, because something is on the line

   That’s why it’s important to always be in the present, not caring about past or future, because that’s when your actions become optimal. By being present and having a nothing-to-lose-approach, you will do the action at the best of your ability

   The best speeches were given alone in front of a mirror. Etc etc

   Read about Taoism to learn more

8. R/nofap if you’re not already. Gets memed on but has helped many men in your situation including myself.

9. Im 27 almost 28… still an issue for me. Working on it by going out and trying to force myself into more situations where it happens.

10. Have you ever gone to a strip club?

    Just to be entertained in a “no catch” scenario.
    To get over the hype and the adrenaline of it.

11. Stop watching porn

12. Start by making eye contact with ppl you come across on a daily basis. Makes it easier – source “just trust the process”

13. Well speaking from some past experiences, I have hide my face, have stumbled over my word’s and spoken fluent Gibberish lol ofc I’ve only ever had crushes and I’ve nvr had anything that checked out for love. As for advice give up women become asexual it’s allot easyer living this way and way freeyer

14. in order to become a master, one must first be a fool.
    if you go into it, perfectly content with possibly coming off as an idiot or a fool, you cannot fail.

    in other words, a really useful way to go into unchartered territory like this is to be 100% fine with messing up and making mistakes. it will be far easier to have more and more interactions, which will strengthen this skill and you will undoubtedly become a master.

    you’ve got this.
    this is a natural thing and is a lot less complicated than many say or you may believe.

    P.S. in addition, look back at the times you have made a fool of yourself in social situations. sure, theyre pretty cringeworthy, but youre still here. those experiences are also incredibly valuable and have strengthened your sociability by at least a bit. they are lessons, not failures, and they do a lot more good than the percieved bad.

15. U need to stop watching porn and masturbating.

16. Getting rejected is not so bad you should not worry about it

17. It’s all nerves. Just believe in yourself and know your worth. The worst that can happen is that she is not interested and that is okay. As a woman, I find it super attractive when a man makes eye contact with me. It shows that you are interested in what she is saying. Maybe practice with a female friend?

18. This is gonna sound harsh: stop putting these women on a pedestal. They breathe air and put their pants on one leg at a time like you. Go talk to them in real life and not on these weird apps. Get rejected. Build your confidence. It’s really not that hard.

19. Remember that who you make eye contact with is just another person. I used to have issues with this, but I realized I would get up in my head and automatically build any person up. The more I looked at the person the more comfortable I got, pulling myself away from my thoughts and to who I was actually seeing—as an individual person not the idea of “i’m talking to a cute guy”.

    Edit: Also having the mindset that you should forgive yourself for not being perfect and appreciate the fact that others have flaws of their own—socially. Its hard feeling the pressures of portraying yourself because you think you’ll be misunderstood. But you’re trying—and others who are worth it might surprise you when they take the time.

20. I’m a 26F and have suffered similarly! Even being around males who I know are attractive though don’t want myself has a similar effect!

    My first boyfriend in school, I used to freeze up whenever I saw him irl and couldn’t speak to him. It didn’t last long for obvious reasons but I thought I was broken because I was the only person I knew who responded like this. Following that I would always get extremely nauseous when I entered new relationships, panic, worry, feel trapped but knew I liked them. It would last a few weeks until I felt comfortable with them. I can’t verbally communicate with crushes. I wish I could tell you how I got over it but I haven’t tbh, luckily I’m now in an established relationship and over all the panic-moments and I shield myself with that.

    I think its possibly linked to self-worth/self-esteem, but I wouldn’t be too harsh on yourself. There are many extremely compassionate women out there who will be patient until you feel comfortable, I would recommend making friendships out of your crushes rather that perusing a relationship and hopefully your lizard brain will begin to understand there’s no danger in women. Make friends with women and you might find somebody who it naturally goes further with.

    P.S. It’s OK for a man to have female friends, in fact I would encourage everyone to have friends from the opposite gender for social diversity reasons.

21. Take care :3 I’m afraid of girls too.