I decided to do this simple excercise to get more cobfident with girls. I thought that the hardest part is gonna be to have the courage to do it, but thats not the problem.
My plan was to just try to make eye contact even with random girls passing by and when i do than i smile. But in most scenarios they dont even look at me. Im trying not to stare i usually look at them when we are close while passing by and i turn my head so its obvious im looking at them or when we are standing somewhere i casually but really noticably look at them so ther is no Way they wont notice, but even than they just dont look at me at all. Not even glance like im ghost or something.
Im young and fairly atractive from what ive heard and fit so i dont assume that im that ugly not to even look at.
Do i do something wrong or is it normal that girls give you usually literally ZERO attention unless you talk to them.
11 comments
Honestly, it isn’t about you.
I absolutely do not return eye contact or smile at men I don’t know on the street. I actively work to avoid catching men’s eyes or interacting with them.
I know it’s rude, but I’ve been hit on, cat called, and harassed way too often and it usually starts with a guy trying to make eye contact or get my attention in some way.
A lot of girls I know have the same “policy”. Nothing personal against the individual men, it’s just a measure I take for my own comfort and safety.
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OP, don’t listen to the fear mongering. There’s this social thought space that’s labeled all men as predatory sick fucks and the girls who experienced maybe one or two shitty guys over the course of the thousands they’ve ever interacted with are now spouting off their bad experiences.
Think nothing of it if they don’t look at you. If you catch someone’s eye, smile and nod politely. I do it ALL. THE. TIME. It’s a very friendly gesture and you can be on your merry way whether people engage with you or not.
I like that you’re creating positive behaviors! Don’t let all these twisted people scare you into staying in your shell. Be friendly to everyone, don’t expect anything from anyone, and appreciate the times when you do get a positive response from someone!
>My plan was to just try to make eye contact even with random girls passing by…and i turn my head so its obvious im looking at them or when we are standing somewhere i casually but really noticably look at them
Most girls will find this off putting. I get where you’re coming from but the best way to go about this would be to gently scan your field of vision without turning your head. That way you can casually “catch” eye contact with the people around you without it coming off like you’re trying too hard.
You should know that there’s still a lot of regional variation in how women respond to this. I travel a lot and I’ve noticed that in some cities I’ll randomly make eye contact with lots of girls and in others I’ll get completely ignored. You may be in a city where the cultural norm is for women to avoid making eye contact with strangers, maybe because guys tend to flirt more aggressively, who knows.
I think the call is to make it breif. This overally dramitic movie bit of locked to each others eyes would make anyone but a coma paitcent uncomfortable.
Look
Smile
Break contact.
I’m average looking man (not being hard on myself, I just can rate myself) and I noticed that:
1. Most women won’t give me any eye contact
2. About 20-30% of women will make eye contact for 0.5-1s which means nothing
3. About 5-10% of girls will make eye contact for 2+ seconds which can mean something
4. Rarely girl will smile at me or give me eye contact where I am almost sure she is interested
I think you are not as attractive as you think or you live in completely different place on earth than me where girls don’t look at men. I live in eastern europe and I heard that girls here give no eye contact comparing to US or western europe.
That part where you are turning around to look at women is weird. When she is walking from oposite direction, she saw you man. She just doesn’t find you attractive or she is busy with thoughts or whatever. When I see random men behaving this way or staring at women for minutes and waiting for eye contact, it is so cringe.
It is normal for people going about their day to avoid unwanted and unwelcome interaction. It’s not you personally.
Reserve this activity for night clubs, bars, or singles meet-ups only.
I would suggest a different approach. Imho if you’re not good with girls you’re probably not good with people. Focus on social skills in general, and the rest will follow. This has its own rewards.
Yea girls rarely make eye contact. Old people do though so you can try with them. Its a lot less intimidating anyway and they like to talk a lot of the time so if you need to practice may as well
The better question is why are you staring and smiling at random people on the street. Maybe you don’t know but it’s a little bit weird and creepy.
As a woman I avoid eye contact with men because of bad situations that can happen. Try complimenting women like I love your hair, cool tattoo, love your make-up. There are so many options that you interact with women on a small scale. Honestly someone said they loved my hair dye a couple years ago and I still think about that.