My insecurity will destroy my Relationship. Please help. (25M)(26F)

Hi Reddit,

I (25M) have started dating someone (26F) about a couple of months ago. She’s admitted that her dating experience was limited. So we’ve been taking things slow. We decided to be exclusive after a month or so but there hasn’t been much of anything different since then.

We mostly hold hands and have the occasional kiss, which im totally fine with. But my mind begins this negative feedback loop that maybe I’m doing something wrong, or im wearing something that makes me look bad, or that I may have said/done something without realizing it and thats why we aren’t doing more intimate things.

Or when I do something wrong, like recently, I opened her glove box without her permission just out of curiosity and she got really upset and told me she didn’t like it when people do things to her stuff without asking. I totally understood, I said sorry and said I understand that going forward. But here’s the problem. Even though she apologized for snapping at me and the car ride home was fine after we made up, my mind still believes that I might’ve doomed my relationship. Even though there’s been no indication from her that she sees me any differently than she did before. We even have plans for next week!

My attempt to compensate for my insecurity is to be affectionate but it seems to be backfiring as its now coming off as too strong. Sometimes maybe I’m too affectionate and try too hard. Her experience with men has been mostly negative and she’s been emotionally shut off for some time now. So i know that my insecurity and clinginess will be the death of my relationship.

And so im always trying to be what i think is a good boyfriend and often I’m not being my authentic self. Mostly because I’m afraid that I will mess up my relationship with her.

I know I’m the problem. And maybe this does stem from past relationships that have left me emotionally scarred. But I don’t want to go my whole life constantly demanding reassurance and affirmation every hour. Thats not healthy and it’s certainly a burden to place on my girlfriend.

I know the obvious answer will be to seek therapy, but honestly my financial situation these days i pinch every penny I can get. So if someone can help me out with resources that would be helpful too. But I’m also looking for anyone who’s had similar issues and worked through it. Have you ever had a partner who wasn’t very verbal and affectionate? How did you learn to trust them and read them? How do I take things slow without freaking out over every little thing?