I met this guy back in April, we hung out twice before I had to travel for a work trip for a month long (we didn’t speak during this time).
I came back and we started hanging out more and more and now we are to the point where we talk every day via text. I’ve been sleeping by him quite a few times, and he’s slept by me for the first time over the weekend.
At first, he told me he wasn’t sure about being in a relationship because he’s never been with anyone that’s had kids before and he’s not sure about it. But, we continued to hang out and told each other that if he were to do anything with anyone else, even if it’s a date, to tell the other… Well, we have been only with each other and I told him while we were both drinking one night that I was thinking about going on a date with someone and he told me that if I did, we can’t communicate anymore… He seems to have become a bit territorial (which is fine), but we also cuddle at night, watch movies, he made me breakfast and so on, we have great chemistry.
Not sure if I should ask at this point what he thinks about us since we have not been really keeping up with our “non-emotional” thing we had going on… We did not go on a date before, as we both said it at the very beginning that it would’ve been weird… So i’m wondering if I should ask him or just ask what’s on his mind? Or just don’t do anything…
I really do like him, but I am becoming a bit worried as I don’t want to be wasting my time with just having a warm body around… Although it feels like more.
6 comments
Sounds like a time to DTR
Yes it sounds like it’s time to have that discussion. After 3-4 months of dating your should both have a better idea of what each other want out of a relationship and whether or not you want to pursue things together. If he is putting boundaries on seeing other people then there has to be some discussion about exclusivity and defining what the relationship is at this point.
Kids are a major make-or-break factor and he’s not going to change his mind. I don’t think there will be “something more” and if he doesn’t want to see you anymore if you’re dating someone else, just end it. It’s a pretty valid boundary on the guy’s end, even if it’s just a FWB thing. I’ve had the same arrangement with my FWB and these boundaries allowed us to preserve our friendship.
He’s going real slow.
You can be patient (& monogamous), or not which will likely lose him.
It does sound like he’s coming around to the concept of being with someone with kids.
I’d not wait more than a month or two past the point of his ‘becoming territorial’, for this ‘association with him’ becoming much more.
Territorial comes with some obligations on his side, I would suggest.
Kids aren’t something you get over lol, if he isn’t ready now he never will be. I’d move on for the sake of your mental health as well as the children.