Many people tell me that I laugh and smile too much, unnecessarily, during conversations. I do it because I’m socially awkward and sometimes don’t know what to say or how to respond to the things people tell me. Most of the things I say tend to be boring , uninteresting and anti-climatic and I feel the urge to exaggerate the coolness or humor in something by narrating everything inbetween chuckles. I also laugh too much because I cannot bear awkward silences. People feel forced to laugh just to be polite, even if they are uncomfortable, and that upsets me(I too do the same when I don’t really have anything to say).
I also smile too much when I meet new people because I don’t want to seem threatening or unapproachable but I think it only makes me look weak and weird(I shouldn’t be smiling too much at strangers anyway) It is a problem and I find it embarrassing and I want to change. I want to be able to smile and laugh only when I genuinely feel like it. If I have nothing to say, I want to learn how to say appropriate things or just be comfortable in silence. Keeping up this cheerful facade is very exhausting also, and I want to save my energy for better things.
But it’ll be difficult because I’ve been this way since forever and I can’t tell anymore whether I really want to laugh or not. And I don’t want people to think I hate them which might just happen if I don’t validate everything they say with my smiles and laughter. What do I do?