I’ve come to believe that my (34M) girlfriend (27F) is occasionally hiding some of her instagram stories, specifically from my account. (Her Instagram highlights disappear, which happens when you hide stories from an account, and then change positions even though I don’t see new stories.) We have been dating six months. I’m not sure if I should respect her privacy or this is secretive behavior that I should talk about with her and not be okay with. Recently she went clubbing with friends, and I wonder if she posted stories that she thought would make me upset. I like her a lot, so I also don’t want to push her away, so I’m looking for some input.
TL;DR Gf posts instagram stories that I can’t see. Wondering if I should respect her privacy or this is red flag behavior.
3 comments
As a male, this is alarming imo
I think there’s a tightrope you can walk here where what you talk about with her is what sort of stuff she feels like she needs to keep separate from you without actually demanding to see the posts themselves.
The tone of this post is almost perfect for the discussion. “I’m noticing through how instagram works that you’re posting stuff and hiding it from me specifically. I’m not hacking your phone to figure out what that stuff is, I get privacy is a thing. I just want to know what kind of thing you think I can’t handle.”
I think she can at least give you that. And be prepared with whatever she comes back at you with. It’s possible you’re more jealous than you think and she’s just screening literally any picture that references male friends. It’s possible you’re fine and this is just holdover behavior from earlier relationships where she had super jealous and insecure boyfriends.
I do this when I share political stuff or “basic” stuff that I know my other half would cringe at. It’s normal to have slight changes of behaviour around a partner vs your girlfriends or something – that shouldn’t have to be any different online.