She said she broke up with her boyfriend in January and didn’t want to rush into anything. I said I didn’t really want to either, but we have been going on dates for 2 months now. I am getting the feeling that she’s still dating other people and have reason to believe she cancelled our date tonight to go on another date. I also tend to overthink literally everything and get myself in trouble, but sometimes my gut feeling is right. We have a date tomorrow and I am thinking about ending it since I feel like im catching feelings and she is not in a place to do that right now. Also kinda feel like I’m getting played and she’s seeing other guys in place of me. I have no way to confirm that she is, but she has her snapchat location on and she cancelled our dinner tonight and rescheduled for tomorrow cause she was too tired from work. Her snapchat location is not at home though it’s at another apartment complex in a different part of town. So, yeah, thinking she’s with someone else.
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I think if she’s not home, she’s probably not tired… Either way sounds like a lie….
I would trust your instincts here.
One thing you got to understand- just because she isn’t sleeping with you doesn’t mean she’s not sleeping with someone else
The other apartment is sus. For all you know, she’s still involved with her ex that she can’t get over
And she’s over here making you pay for a premium that someone else is getting for FREE
I’d drop her if I were you. Keep your dignity while you still can. Hit her with “you’re nice, however I’m not really looking for anything platonic right now. Best of luck”
>She said she broke up with her boyfriend in January and didn’t want to rush into anything.
She is still emotionally damaged from her previous relationship, trying to court a broken and confused person is a waste of your time.
>Her snapchat location is not at home though it’s at another apartment complex in a different part of town. So, yeah, thinking she’s with someone else.
You’re right, she is with someone else bouncing around from guy to guy.
Have you seen her naked?
How long you willing to wait?
It sounds like you answered your own question.
Couple things: first, I never believe that line. I don’t mean there’s never any truth in it, but it’s one of those objective lines women give you when they’re not into you.
Second, overthinking & your gut being right coexist all the time. A lot of times, your gut is right & the second-guessing is trying to convince you this woman is somehow special & different, and deserves more chances than she actually does.
“I want to take things slow” translation “I’m not interested in you sexually”
Your intuition is right. She’s told you she’s not ready for a relationship. It doesn’t matter where she is or what she’s doing, she’s not ready to be with you. If you aren’t cool with it, then stop seeing her. It’ll hurt way worse if you try to pressure her into something she’s not ready for, or if you just kept waiting around for her to be ready for you.
Ok, first thing is stop using her Snapchat location to monitor her behaviour. That’s at best disrespectful and at worst stalkerish.
Second thing is you *do* have a way to find out. You have a conversation. If you don’t think that you can have a conversation and then trust that what she tells.you is the truth, then there is no basis for a relationship there anyway because there is no trust.
If you are ‘catching feelings’ then ask her how she’s doing. Maybe things have changed for her in those two months, maybe they haven’t. But don’t guess, it adds pointless stress to the situation.
Trust da gut and move on. You should assume that any woman you are dating is seeing multiple guys if an exclusive relationship hasn’t been established, and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, that’s exactly what you should be doing.
Best of luck to you bro. 👍
You are being used for validation and company. She gets to heal from her relationship while you dont smash.
If she is just out of relationship she uses you as emotional cushion. Please stop seeing this person.
Its usually works out better if you wait for her to signal wanting a relationship with you. Which usually happens after a few more months of dating if you are showing yourself as being the kind of person she would like to have a relationship with.
If you have not both made the decision to take things in a more committed route, than you might not be in an area to get upset with her for dating other guys. Technically, you are free to date other women as well if you two aren’t “going steady.” You can be uncomfortable with it in which case you’d have to decide if you can continue going on dates with her or not, but it would be out of you being not okay with it. Not really her doing something wrong.
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Not painting her as being in the wrong or the right, but usually women might be dating a few men to see which one holds up better as being a better prospect for a relationship. The man who can be fun, calm and not needy would stand up better than those who seem clingy, worried, and blows up her phone with calls and texts about where she’s at and who is she with. This is all before being in a relationship though. In the dating phase. This is also just an opinion.
Remember women gets plastic surgery to look good, wear makeup to look good, wear push up bras to look good. If GOD can’t make these women happy how can you.
Don’t let yourself think the worst if you really like this girl, I have had the exact same situation in the past but kind of regretted not sticking it out a little longer. That being said it’s your life and happiness and if she isn’t adding to that just be fair with yourself. You can still talk to this girl while talking to other women and spending way less time attention and money on her. Pull back your feelings, and give her the space she needs, while making yourself much less available to her. And example of that would be she canceled the date, so now you are busy for the next week or two so the next time she knows if she flakes she might never see you again. You don’t allow her to reschedule a day later like it’s ok.
She’s not ready, stop being controlling and watching her move around on Snapchat, and drop her because you are not ready for a relationship either. Learn what healthy boundaries are and set them. That being said, you are imagining things and assuming the worst of this person, without actually talking to them face to face or confronting about it. Just pure speculation on your part. TALK TO HER instead of assuming all of these negative things and assuming she’s lying or dating other people. Have you set those healthy boundaries? Have you and her made it official that you want to be exclusive? If not, you aren’t tied down to her, either. Again, stop stalking her Snapchat. Trust your gut, but learn to communicate, too.
She’s smashing other dudes. You are a backup plan for when she gets bored.
You must do what you think is right of course.
>She said she broke up with her boyfriend in January and didn’t want to rush into anything.
Hidden rules to dating; a person who just got into the dating market after a break up is just looking for rebounds. Heart broken ppl arent looking for anything serious but fwb. If u want tat fwb, be upfront with it, no bs.
“Hey, I know we agreed to taking things slow originally, but now that we’re 2 months in I’d like to take things further. At this point, I’m looking for exclusivity and something a bit more serious. What are your thoughts?”
Im a real hotwife
Idk why everyone’s talking about her not having sex with you. She said she’s not ready and you’re catching feelings, those two don’t go together – end of story. No need to read into anything else or check her location. You should never be so down bad that you’re tracking someone
You’re not exclusive and she might find it strange to talk about hooking up with other guys with you. Although she could have explicitly said that she was also seeing other guys.
Whatever her reasons are, she told you that she didn’t want to rush into things because she just ended a relationship. It can take some time before she is over that, so don’t wait for that if you can’t handle it if she ended up with someone else.
In another comment you said “I will just ask her what she did last night and if she is lying I will call her out”. Don’t do that. But do have a mature conversation. Ask her what she wants out of this and tell her what you wanted out of this.
I would suggest that while you’re on your date tonight you tell her where you’re at. That you’re starting to catch feelings and would like to make things exclusive. Your answer will come right then and there. You also won’t have to wonder about the truth if she is seeing other people on the DL.
OP, lots of really bad advice here. Two months is a while, but you also haven’t talked about your intentions since pretty early on, and both of you were cool to be casual. Don’t overthink it–just have another conversation about it. Maybe she feels differently now.
Say “[Name of girl], it’s been a couple months and I’m ready for a more serious connection. Where’s your head at?” Might as well shoot a final shot.
Don’t let it get in your head about her canceling. Maybe she was at her friend’s house or cousin’s house. Hanging out with a friend is much less energy than going on a dinner date.
OP never said they haven’t had sex. If they haven’t though, that might be part of the issue. 2 months is a long time to not have sex, she might think he’s never gonna make a move. Make a move, see how it goes, then talk about getting more serious.
Snapchat seems a menace. Good lord.
She told you she didn’t want to jump into a relationship and she hasn’t. If you are not feeling it you’re welcome to get out.
I mean I agree you shouldnt stick around if you think you want a relationship, bc she obv doesn’t and it will just hurt more the longer you stick around. but concerning the snapmap…maybe she saw a friend? Wasn’t feeling like a date that night bc… tired, not in the dating mood, depressed bc of her ex?
She already told you she’s not looking for anything serious. Move on. Best wishes.
Does she cancel often ? What is her occupation? (Is it a busy job?)