Hi everyone,
My girlfriend(22) and I(22) have been dating for almost 6 months now. Her birthday is coming up and she is going to have a little get-together with her friends a couple of days before to celebrate it.
I’m pretty introverted and get really uncomfortable in social settings, and I’ve met her friends all at once before at a similar get-together and I felt really awkward and out of place.
My girlfriend is telling me that I don’t need to come and that it’s okay if I don’t go to this one because she knows how difficult it was for me the last time.
I’m thinking of not going but at the same time I feel really conflicted because it’s going to be her birthday soon.
What should I do?
7 comments
On one hand, if you think there’s any way you’ll be able to go and have a nice time, go.
However, if you know you won’t have fun and that she’ll just worry about you all night, plan something else with her and let her have a girls night
How much is her birthday about your anxiety, your needs and how you feel out of place?
I would stop in for a bit, even earlier than the party time and give her a wee gift and wish her a happy birthday and to enjoy her party.
Birthdays are important and even if your not comfortable in a party setting just showing that bit of effort will go a long way.
Bro sounds like my last relationship. Fellow introverted guy here that dated a super extrovert for years . If you want this to work you gotta go just drink a little loosen up . It just looks bad if you don’t go you don’t have to be mr super sociable just go . She might secretly resent you a bit for it and it’ll probably start snow balling into something bigger . You can probably skip the next event that isn’t her bday
Sounds like she understands.
But it also sounds like she enjoys celebrating her bday- so even if you don’t go to the party , make sure you do something special for her .
I’m an introvert and large gatherings can be a little overwhelming for me so I get where you’re coming from, but it’s your girlfriend’s bday and even if she’s okay with you not going she might still feel hurt and let down.
Her friends are going to ask about you all night and having to explain why you’re not there with her isn’t going to be fun for her.
Make an effort and show up, even if it’s just for an hour.
Can you bring a friend? That way you have someone to talk to all night when she is pulled in 100 directions.