For some background, our relationship of 2 years is pretty great. We are in an LDR due to school atm and are 4 hours apart by car, and he makes the effort to come see me twice a month, he shows me that he genuinely cares about me in a bunch of different ways that would be too long to list, and (TMI just as a warning!!!!!!) our bedroom life is pretty great and I do seem to arouse him (especially when seeing how much precum he leaks just from us making out or seeing how hard he gets when he’s simply holding me while we watch TV). My BF is also the one to initiate any intimacy 90% of the time. He did have a bit of an avoidant personality when we first began dating, but with time and patience that has improved a lot (for example, he seemed uncomfortable with any type of “mushiness” at first).
But there are a few times my boyfriend made some pretty suspect comments and I can’t help but wonder…why? Here are some examples:
* We were watching one of those trashy reality TV shows and they zoomed in on a shot of a dude’s barenaked ass (if I’m being honest, the dude was pretty hot and I definitely didn’t mind). But my boyfriend’s immediate reaction was, “Ew!!!! I did not wanna see that. Gross! Wtf!!” I thought that was a bit of an overreaction. I mean I get that the average straight dude doesn’t care to see a guy’s naked ass, but why the visceral negative reaction?
* My boyfriend is a 2nd year medical student, and he was confiding to me that he wasn’t sure what residency programs he should go for. I jokingly suggested OB/GYN, and his reaction was literally, “Hell no, that would be one of the gayest fields to go into.” Again, why such a visceral negative reaction at entering a field that is supposedly “gay”?
* I was talking about some guy that we both knew in college because he posted about his first and ever new GF on his Snapchat story, and when telling my BF about the guy and the new gf, he snapped, “Yo I thought he was gay though. How did he get a girlfriend?”
* There’s a friend he has who likes to dress a bit hipster or metrosexual at times, and he likes to tease him often or make fun of him often over how “gay” he looks
I’ve always been of the mindset that someone who comments so much on this topic must have something to hide. I’m wondering if I am overthinking though. How should I go about this situation? Or more accurately…is this worth further exploring or confronting my BF about?
TLDR: BF makes some (imo, maybe they’re actually normal and I’m the one overthinking) odd comments about men and gayness at times
5 comments
Does it make you uncomfortable when he makes comments like that? If so, I would bring that up
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He’s probably mildly homophobic but I wouldn’t see it as much deeper than that.
He just seems homophobic and immature as fuck. I actually can’t believe he’s a med student with comments and reactions like these… Lord help his future patients, hope he doesn’t make it past the second year. Are you comfortable with your partner behavior like this, whatever the reason may be?
If he said “no homo” after, that means he’s in the clear; you should check the recordings on file.