Age, depression, low libido?

51M trying to assess why I’m losing erections.

Ok I’m going through a divorce with (IMO) an unstable ex. After a long depression about the shut down, losing my job, the marriage falling apart, single parenting my step-kids, I had completely stopped looking for a partner. I feel that’s an important distinction: I felt fine focusing on myself, not that I would ***never*** find someone.

I was just living life, healing from the mess I was dealing with. While in this mindset I found out an absolutely stunning 26F had been (in her own words) willing to sell her soul to sleep with me. I was stunned. When we got around to it I knew I wasn’t as into it as I had been in the past. She was hotter and better than anyone I had ever been with, but I couldn’t close the deal. My erection was not that great. I was distracted, battling this “WTF why aren’t you turned on?” voice in my head. Obviously she took it a little personally and that connection has cooled significantly.

I went back to being comfortably single for a bit until a 37F took an interest in me. Here I am in a headspace where I think nobody is interested and I seem to be getting more offers than I think I ever have. For myself, this is putting even more focus on my performance issue. Which happened again with the 37F. Thankfully she was interested in all sorts of things that provided other ways to satisfy her. She has been talking about how making sure I am satisfied is also important to her though. I do still get erections just fine when we are sexting or video chatting. We’ve even had some seriously heavy petting in parking lots while just trying to kiss good night.

I’m definitely aroused and ready to go right up until the condom comes out. Then the crusader takes a nap. Then it’s a stressor I fixate on and it compounds the problem. That much is obvious.

Yes I know I need to seek medical opinions. I know biologically it’s not uncommon at my age, but since I have no issue until penetration is about to happen, I wondered what advice I might find here. Am I stuck on the age gap?, the beauty of these new partners?, the condom use?, still healing from this divorce?