I’ve (m28) been with my partner (F 27) for 2 years. We’ve been living together for less than a year, we got a puppy 3 months ago. She has some problems, she’s unable to work and has OCD, depression, as well going through an autism assessment at the moment.
My problems are, anytime I bring up a problem I have, she blames it on me. Anytime I ask her to do something because I’m getting stressed, she snaps back, and anytime we have a fight, I’m always the one who has to go and talk to her, she never makes the effort. I woke up a day last week and she was going through my phone while I was asleep. Reading messages between me and my brother about how I felt about the relationship and she snapped. She told me she did nothing wrong, and that it was my fault.
I don’t feel like she trusts me anymore, that was the second time she went through my phone. I’m happy to show her messages I’ve sent if she was worried.
I’m worried she won’t have a place to live if we break up, the puppy will be okay, she can go back to her parents (my gfs parents gave us the puppy, I love the puppy, but I know I can’t keep her if I end the relationship), and she may harm herself. I feel lonely and stressed all the time in the relationship. I can’t deal with the pressure.
She’s blamed me for everything that’s happened in the apartment since we moved in.
Tl;dr what to do when you’re scared of ending a relationship because of the effect it’ll have on the other person, but you need to? Reupload because I made a mistake.
2 comments
You have to just end it. End it nicely as possible but I would explain it’s just too much and you have to go back to your parents. Take action, Get it done. Have family/people aware of it to support her so she’s not isolated and ends up doing something to herself. Bottom line…not your problem so end it and make it a clean cut…cut it off and no back and forth bullshit that she’s going to want to try. just end it and be firm.
She sounds emotionally abusive. Lots of resources online on how to best end relationships like that. But honestly, she sounds insufferable. Why do you care that much about what happens to her? You deserve to want more for yourself.