My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and have known each other for 3 years. We in my opinion have an issue with social media, she refuses to post me, and keep me hidden on her page aside from little boomerangs of our drinks or dinner on her story. Recently she’s been going to work happy hours with a preferred lender her company works with and adds only the single guys on her Instagram. We fight about this constantly because I try and tell her that guys use Instagram nowadays to judge if a girl is single and her adding these single guys while on her page she portrays this single lifestyle makes me uncomfortable. She claims it’s work and she knows these guys and it’s not like she is adding random guys then proceeds to tell me to stfu and it’s not changing she will add whoever whenever. Definitely not trying to be controlling, just don’t see why anytime she does anything with her friends or family like concerts, birthday dinners, sporting events she posts a picture. When it’s with me the only pic she posts aside from a story, is one’s I take of her. And her response is “it’s my Instagram I don’t have to post you if I don’t want to” Idk what to do it’s so confusing and all her friends and family constantly tell her how lucky she is to be with me, goals, must be nice, etc. and yet I still am hidden on her social media and she continues to add guys on there.
4 comments
Gen Z problems..
Communication.. trust.. commitment.. and friendship are 4 pillars of a strong good relationship in my opinion. If either one is weak.. the foundation will be weak and eventually will break. Also, decide what are your hard NO. Everybody has a hard no , soft no and eh.. don’t care.
If you feel that her behavior or something she does, way she treats you etc is a hard No.. break up. If they are a soft no.. talk to her. You get the drift.
Also, it seems like you are insecured in the relationship .. which happens when other person doesn’t give you that complete security with their actions, words etc. So ask yourself this.. do you trust her? If yes , then why are you bothered about what and who she posts about otherwise it’s a No..
Honestly I’d walk away from her. That is the only way she will respect you. She obviously likes the attention she’s getting from the guys. The fact that she knows the guys in my opinion makes it worse. Not gonna lie I wouldn’t be surprised if She’s cheated on you already… I’m not saying this to be an ass. You have to be the man in the relationship and lay the law down, or be willing to walk and not look back… otherwise you could look the other away completely ignore it and do the same exact thing as her, hide her, add chicks like their pics etc… and be okay with her cheating on you..
How old are you both, if you don’t mind us asking? This issue sounds something that stems from a relationship between young people if I’m being completely honest. You seem very mature though. Her on the other hand, not so much. Based on the way she reacts to your requests, I’m afraid that these may be signs that’s she may already be doing something unfaithful behind your back, if not physically, at least emotionally. There’s literally no reason for her to post other guys on her Instagram, yet not want to post you. That to me already seems pretty shady. A sound mature person wouldn’t respond to you with “it’s my Instagram, i don’t have to post you, i can do whatever i want”. A mature response from an experienced and considerate partner would be “im sorry you’ve been feeling like that. I appreciate you being vulnerable and letting me know that posting you means a lot to you. I’ll try to be more considerate and post things about us and you.” It’s not that hard lol. Talk it out with her. If she cannot compromise, then im afraid you have to chalk it up to incompatibility, and walk out of this relationship. If she can’t compromise on something this small, imagine the bigger things that may come further down the line.
Is she making money off social media?
If not, then it seems like her relationship with instagram is more important than her relationship with you…..