I see everyone as my enemy.
I’ve dedicated this year to making new friends. So far I’ve been to 4 events, 4 music festivals and 15 times to a nightclub. But I never managed to even have a conversation.
It’s really painful because I see everyone else having an easy time opening random strangers. A guy comes to a group, says Heeeey, they say heeey back and they are talking.
I however always assume that everyone wants to mind their own business and that I would ruin their vibe. So mostly I don’t try at all.
The times I did try, my expectation of getting rejected was so strong, I actually did ruin their vibe. I said heeeey and they were like “umm okay..”.
The worst thing is often people are actually friendly to me at first, come talk to me, girls want me to approach them, but after a while they realize there is something “off” about me, and eventually leave.
Right now I’m standing in front of the club after they closed up, and everyone gathered outside and started talking and singing together. Random people came in and joined. Why can’t I do that too?
How do I stop believing that everyone hates me?
4 comments
I feel you but I promise you no hates you and if they do you say fuck it anyways and continue living your best life
Thinking everyone hates you is narcissistic thinking. Everyone has insecurities but realizing we are all kind of the same is very liberating.
Making an effort to show interest in other people is noble and respected.
If you were standing by yourself and someone came up and said heyyyy you’d feel welcomed and approved-of (unless they were a creep ofc). That’s why that guy is successful. He’s making an effort
If you feel like you’re not fitting, you can try organizing your own thing.
What worked for me was starting playing music in the street, singing with a guitar, it’s very federating, in about a week I knew everyone and everyone knew me. got invited everywhere.
maybe you can try viewing people as future/soon-to-be friends rather than enemies??
I know it seems intimidating and like they are completely different than you, but at the end of the day they are human, have struggles and fears we don’t about, and don’t really know anything.