Okay hear me out. I am a 24M she is a 23F. We dated for about a year, 4 years ago. We broke up because of petty fights and tbh emotional immaturity at the time. We were both each others first relationship. Last time I ever reached out was at the start of COVID to check in.
Since breaking up with her i’ve bettered myself as a person. I have a 6 figure job at one of the top tech companies in the world. I’ve gone from a scrawny 165 pounds to 195 pounds in muscle. Sought therapy and have dated many other women.
However, even as I moved on I find myself curious about her life. Recently, I made the dumb mistake of checking her socials (unblocked now). And god she looks finer and happier then when we broke up. She has a good job too now and I can’t help but think it could possibly be different. She’s always felt like the one to me.
Last time I reached out, during covid it was received somewhat neutrally. What should I do? I’m tired of these thoughts.
5 comments
I would say to reach out but keep your expectations very low. You may like the idea of her more than what she truly is. You may have matured as person but she might not of matured as much as you have
Just as the other commenter said, its worth a go especially if its been that long (4 years), but keep expectations as low as possible
Just a casual hey let’s try and reconnect and see what happens rather than planning ur next year based on them being ur gf lol
As long as you’re in an ok state mentally and are prepared for rejection, then you have nothing to lose. It’s been long enough that it’s not like you’re getting in the way of her healing from the breakup or anything like that. Just be polite and straightforward, send her a message and see if she wants to go for a drink and catch up or something like that.
Just remember 4 years is a long time and the version of her in your head may be completely different than who she actually is now. A short catch up over a drink would give you both the idea if there’s any spark left or if one of you has completely moved on.
Of course she may not even be interested at all, but what do you have to lose in at least politely asking?
As far as I am concernered people breaking up after a “long” relationship (dunno about 1 year though, sounds to short), goes dating for a while at each end and suddenly stumbles upon eachother again realising that dating sucked; Yeah, could work.
I’d say it’s worth a try