I (21m) recently experimented with another man (received a blow job) and didnt end up liking it (struggled to stay hard, didnt finish, threw up afterword). Although Im content in knowing that Im not into men, I cant help but feel like im constantly hiding something. I feel that if I were to date a women or get married my wife/gf would be repulsed and leave me if I were to admit this experience. I just wish I never experimented and its giving me anxiety/stress.
31 comments
Personally I’d have no problem with it, if anything it’s nice to know you were open to exploring your sexuality!
Can’t get hate for trying it. U tried. U disliked. Now u know. Obviously you have nothing against the lgbtq so I think you’ll be ok
You’ll never be under an obligation to tell future partners about this experience; that said, in my opinion anyone worth sticking with won’t care anyway.
Plenty of women would not judge you or think negatively of you for having done this, even if you had enjoyed it. Women date and marry bisexual men all the time, yanno? Most people have tried something sexually that they didn’t end up liking; it’s part of being human and there is no shame in it. Forgive yourself and breathe.
Gay sex is not for everyone, we’re all on the sexual spectrum somewhere. I learned that I’m a little into sucking another guys dick, but not receiving it. And there’s a ton of factors that need to be in place for me to want to do that in the first place. When it comes to women, though, I have a much looser tolerance, but I still do have preferences. You just gotta go with what your body reacts positively to.
I know plenty of women who masturbate to gay porn. Actually, I think it’s men who stigmatize gay sex the most these days. You’ll be fine.
Most straight women are seriously turned on by MM.
The same as most straight men are turned on by FF.
You have very little chance a woman would think negatively, and a fairly high chance you would excite them. (Assuming they are sex positive, and not religious)
Most rational people wouldn’t mind, but do you really wanna be involved with well homophobic women who do mind?
Why are you so ashamed of it? Are you from a religious background?
You experimented and now know more about yourself. Good for you.
All this anxiety is society’s bullshit.
>I feel that if I were to date a women or get married my wife/gf would be repulsed and leave me if I were to admit this experience.
Those are not quality people. Seriously.
You know who you want to marry? Someone you confide in, and who says “that’s great, I’m glad you had your time of self-discovery. Now come over here and put your dick in me.”
You should never, never fear twlli g people who you are. I mean, if you kill a man just to see him die, keep that shit to yourself. But if someone makes you feel ashamed for being yourself? That person is not for you. Kick them out and hold your head high while you do it.
I agree with many women that it would not put me off at all. In fact it’s attractive because it means you were open to exploring your sexuality and didn’t let toxic masculinity hold you back from it. It’s the opposite of those guys that are afraid to kiss their girlfriend after she sucks their dicks because it’s “gay” (sometimes the posts on this sub make me 🤦🏻♀️…)
if a partner was offended by something you tried before you met, it’s not the right partner.
You live and you learn
You did nothing wrong! No one should judge you for that.
It’s healthy to experiment. Some things you’ll like others you won’t. That’s a crucial part about the experimentation process. It sounds like the main issue was that you didn’t stop when you knew you didn’t enjoy it.
I think you’ll just need some time to deal with the experience. You’re the same as before, just an experience wiser.
Don’t fear that might make a woman reject you. In all fairness you are for sure more certain in your sexual orientation than most of the other guys.
I hope you’ll be able to lay this experience behind you, and that you won fear to try out other stuff in the future. Good luck man!
Aw I’m sorry it was such a crappy experience for you. Homophobic people are trash anyways, you wouldn’t want to date someone who judges you for experimenting anyways! There will be some ppl who probably will be judgey about it, but they suck!!
I wouldn’t judge you. I would probably ask you what you didn’t like so that if there was a sensation or something that triggers something or you just don’t like I would not want to repeat it. But that is what experimenting is. Sometimes we have attraction to the same gender but really don’t want to have sex with them. Like I can appreciate a really hot girl or notice she is really pretty. Not going to jump into bed though it’s not really my thing… I have made out with a girl ( she was a good kisser ) but I realized it wasn’t for me and she did too. You just put into a box of ok I tried nope not for me. Like someone said sexuality is a spectrum or scale.
Feel ya, bro. I was in the same situation, but it got better after some time. Some people said that you’re not obliged to tell your future partners about this, but I myself couldn’t just hide it, so I told my every partner about this, and most of them actually found it hot or interesting, the others just didn’t care. You shouldn’t worry about this
You will be surprised at the percentage of women who could not care less about this experience and maybe even appreciate it? Take some time out to process what has happened for yourself without thinking of others potential opinion there is no shame in experimenting with your sexuality
If you didn’t try or experiment, you may question yourself in the future. At least now that you’ve tried it and you’re aware of how you felt, you don’t have to question yourself again. Whoever you end up with shouldn’t care about experiments you’ve tried, you don’t have to share that with them either.
Would you really want to be with a prejudiced person? Ask yourself that and then raise your standards in a partner to reflect yours-you have an open mind probably should have a partner that has an open mind.
Me personally, as a woman, wouldn’t care.
Fair enough that you wanted to try it. You have every right to do so.
If a woman leaves you because of THAT, she wasn’t worth it anyway.
when you have a partner, you will have the level of intimacy to tell them without prejudice.
1) You tried it and didnt like it, not a big deal
2) Why do you have to tell a future partner this? Your future wife wouldnt tell you about all the dick she sucked before yours. You are over thinking it
No, don’t feel like you’d be hiding something. It was something you tried, and you’re not into it. Unless you want to share for the sake of sharing, no one else needs or is entitled to know.
If we don’t tell our partners about every sexual encounter we have had (they don’t want to hear it), why would you have to tell them about this?
How are you supposed to know if you like mushrooms without trying them?
You explored, you understand more about your desires and needs in a future relationship. If you meet someone and feel comfortable or the need to discuss this occasion then that’s great. If they judge you, they certainly aren’t the one for you.
In my opinion: I think these leason to you for the future. If you Don’t like it then don’t do it again.
You’re not gay
I think if it ever came up saying exactly what you posted here would put your partner at ease. Knowing you were young, tried it, didn’t enjoy at all and never want to do again. Not that there is anything wrong necessarily but for me I prefer Heterosexual men and wouldn’t want to worry there could be needs I could not satisfy long term as a woman. I personally want a monogamous relationship only.
If you felt that you had to try it and now know you don’t like it, it’s all good. Regrets are just a part of life and at least now you know.
Hi, I had a gay experience that lasted months when I was 14. (Not that it matters, but I’m now 34.) It was with a fellow friend and both of us were really horny.
So we masturbated each other, gave and received blowjobs, and I even fucked his ass. That was the last straw cos I felt it was just too weird and we stopped all sexual activities since that day.
Fast forward to my dating life, I was open and transparent about my past sex encounters to all my partners (6 of them). All of them were understanding and said that it was in my past.
Some were curious and wanted to know more. Some were surprised and maybe even revolted for a short period of time. But I just accepted it as their way to process shocking news. I gave them time and soon, they were over it.
Communication and trust is key. At the end of the day, only reveal something if you are comfortable to tell it. You are not obligated or forced.
I liken this revealing part to like telling a girl you like/love her. She can love the idea or she can hate you for it. At the end of the day, the person that accepts you will accept your past. All the best!