I can’t see myself in a sexual way. What should I do?

2 comments

1. work on your confidence first thing. learn to love yourself and your body, also were u brought up in a religous household? might also have an effect on your perception of sex

2. There are probably a lot of different ways I became (and continue to become) connected to my sexuality, but one of them was by just kind of “faking it” in the beginning. I had a full length mirror in one of my apartments, and I would get a little wine drunk and look at myself with sexy outfits on, or nothing but panties. While doing this I moved in languid and sensual ways, even though it felt awkward and unnatural — but this is where the alcohol helps. Doing it to sexy music helped guide my movements, too.

   All this is to say, spending the time to really be present with the connection between your “sexual mind” and body can be effective, in my experience. You probably will not actually feel sexy or attractive, but it doesn’t matter — just break through the barrier anyway, endure through the discomfort, and fake it. If you practice things like this, you might find that at some point you can unlock some kind of erotic attitude that feels authentic and natural to you, and begin to actually find some pleasure in riding that warm and mischievous feeling.

   For the past few years I’ve also been wearing heels in the shower (not every time, but often). That’s another way I stay in tune with my sexuality. You can borrow that! I think the process of connecting to your sexuality is really a process of becoming more sexually liberated, and finding joy in feeling less inhibited to explore that mysterious and empowered side of yourself.

   Good luck! I hope this helps.