Needing to ask this, before I develope GIG syndrome here. Basically, since I was little, I always were into a very specific type of guy. I never really noticed it before, because it was never really a “common thing” I saw other straight girls talk about. To a degree, I even thought I was really the last picky person, because I had no defined “favourite type of eyes” etc., which is why I feel partially very stupid rn.
In short. I’ve always been into big gentle giants. “Big” does not refer to height or weight here. I prefer men that are taller than me (which is not that hard, lol), but I go nuts for men who are broad, like, a back you can hide behind like a wall. Since I was little I would fall for cartoon & RL characters that would fall into that category. Big, broad men, who are very sweet. “Lian-Chu” from the old series Dragonhunters would be a good example in a nutshell; big, gentle badass who loves knitting. And one that preferably has an “interesting face”, though I can’t define that.
Now, RL is not a dating simulator, obviously. And I never wanted it to be. Growing up, I obviously also fell for guys who did not fit my category and sometimes I even actively attempted to ignore it. But the older I get…the harder I seem to be able to gulp it down.
Sure, I still get attracted to certain guys. But I realize more and more that I have a passive “Grass is always greener” thought process running in the background. Even when I’m head over heels, I feel a tiny part that’s just…sad. Like “is that really going to be the endgame here?”. And I hate it, because I obv. don’t want to judge poor guys. But when I try to gulp it down even more, it just gets more aggressive.
And sure. Obviously you shouldn’t be ashamed for your preferences as long as they are not insulting. But…idk. I still feel worried. Mostly because I’m a rather…complicated character myself. Like, I’m already ND and have mental health problems list that’s longer than a shopping list on black friday (I’m stable though, don’t worry), so while I’m obv not “broken goods” I shouldn’t gamble to specifically with that handicap. And this is not even starting on principals like kids, which others my age haven’t even started thinkin about.
Any tips for that?
4 comments
The “grass is always greener” thing is human nature. Especially if you use social media as it will exasperate the differences a lot. you’ll notice this phenomenon happen in you subconscious with enough meditation.
Really what it seems from is a lack (rather it is actually a believe that you lack) of something. The feeling that you there’s something better for you to chase speaks more about you than the other person. And until you allow this voice to quiet itself and do some healing you’ll find it will never go away.
This voice is also why people who had millions go for billions even though they had it just fine ( Bernie maydolf the ponsi scheme dude for example ).
I guess what is happening in real life? Are you dating this “big broad” type of guy and it’s not working or…
There’s nothing wrong with having a preference as long as it’s not a fetish and you disclose that up front. I prefer the big broad types myself, which is something I always put when I post a personals ad. But I lean towards someone who’s calm and level headed because otherwise, the types who are too “type A” or “too alpha” are the ones I will likely butt heads with.
TYPES ruin prospective relationships, remove that word from your dating vocabulary and you will be better off in this world