I’m currently experiencing it with a girl I know. We’ve known each other for a while, she’s in a relationship and we don’t really have that much in common. Nothing is actually going to happen between us. There are girls that I find way more attractive and there are girls that I get along far better with. She would say the same in reverse about me I’m sure.
Every time I’m with her though, there is this undeniable physical chemistry between us. It’s as if our bodies are being pulled towards one another. There is an atmosphere of sorts between us.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced this. Is there any genuine scientific explanation for it though? Why do we experience it with certain people and not others?
I’d be interested to hear stories from others too. I find the whole thing fascinating.
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It’s guys too though. That’s why we can be such good buddies with people. I have to meet a lot of people because of my business, and there are guys that are really cool that I want to hang out more with, and sometimes there are guys that just seem to be afraid to socialize.
I don’t have any truly scientific explanation I can back up with studies, but I think I read something about pheromones being different depending on blood type. I think it was something about the rh type, because if you had a kid with someone who has a negative rh and you have a positive, it’s higher likelihood of miscarriage and other complications. There’s a treatment for it now so it’s not really more dangerous anymore, but that only became available in the last 50 years.
So it’s entirely possible she has the right kind of genetics that make you want to put a strong healthy baby in her.
Yup. Happens to us all.
I know a person who I swear, can tell as soon as they walk Into a filled room.
People are attracted to people who look like them
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201505/are-we-attracted-people-who-look-us
Their smell
Lack of expectation. No pressure. Better vibes. Like learning for fun vs a test. A chat with your boss vs an interview.
Pheromones
Especially if you’re under the impression that “smell” is involved, like there’s a range within which you just know that person’s there, or within which you need to become glued
Pheromones
To be honest I think it’s something science can’t explain. It’s something that exists, but not something we can measure. Like emotions, and the way love makes you feel physically.
There are certainly some people in my life that I’ve just clicked with, with no explanation. They’re not as attractive as I’d usually go for, I don’t know them well enough to know our personalities align, but we just connect. Soulmates, perhaps?
Monkey brain
Some folks here mentioned pheromones…
But (assuming that has to involve being close enough to smell the person) what’s interesting to me is times it happens between me and a stranger before we’ve physically moved close enough to get a whiff of each other.
Guess that’s an energetic thing between two people, independent of smelling each other.
You know for a fact that this is mutual and not just you attracted to her OP?
Never had this with a woman
Evolutionary instincts encoded in us. Simple as that. There are certain things we are hardwired to be attracted to, and it can be different for each one of us because we are no longer tribal in how we mate so their are suppressed and expressed genetic traits that are different with every birth
Lacking any other external/environmental or conscious preference/bias…. genetics/Evolutionary reasons are the only thing left.
Some deep rooted biology. I experienced this recently too.
My ex gf and I had this. It’s like we were magnetized. And smell had a huge role in that. During intimacy I would lift her arms up just to bury my face into her armpits and get her smell in my beard. When we were apart my mind was fabricating her smell and I could just smell her scent anywhere in the wild. Our verbal communication was off but the physical and emotional chemistry was crazy. Even after we broke up our magnets were still pulling very strongly in that way. Until I felt that I had no idea I had that sense inside of me. That person awakens it inside of you and after they do, you just know.
Everyone wants what we can’t have. Forbidden fruit syndrome.
I have a similar situation but we do have a lot in common. Sometimes you meet the perfect person too late.
Why ? There is no explanation except for the fact that you / we are wired a certain way.
I feel that with my new partner. Its a pull, its easy.
If anyone wants a metaphysical explanation, DM me.
[I am aware that the scientific community at large doesn’t respect what is classed as metaphysical. On the other side of the coin, today’s scientific community is nothing more than a contemporary version of biblical canon. If you make a claim that refutes their narrative, they’ll burn you at the stake. The only difference is that today it’s only a metaphor.]
(tl;dr if you dislike what is considered metaphysical, this is clearly not for you and I encourage you to move along to more palatable ideas.)
Forbidden fruits are more desirable for us humans for some reason
I’m a woman and I’ve only ever experienced this with two people in my life. The eye contact is incredibly intense. With the most recent one, the first time we made eye contact, literally the room full of people just disappeared and I had tunnel vision. We stared at each other for, I don’t even know how long it was, but I wasn’t breathing and I was about to die by the time he broke it. I got the chance to breathe a couple of breaths then he looked back again as if he didn’t believe it either. I knew him for a year and every single time i saw him was amazing. Looking into his eyes just felt like home. It was the weirdest most intense thing. Nothing came of it because he’s married and neither one of us made a move. Still breaks my heart. I just chalk it up to meeting the right person at the wrong time.
Idk what you mean. Are you describing falling in love and it being mutual? And what do you mean with PHYSICAL chemistry? If not falling in love do you mean it could develop into a strong bond quickly but not necessarily romantic?
When that chemistry is mutual, I think often we are unconscious of the subtle queues we and they give off that signal interest. Like both people spend just a little more time looking at each other than normal, we also don’t notice that we are smiling, even subtlety when we look at them, that sort of thing.
It’s a reciprocal process with a positive feedback loop. Pheromones come into play, but I think its only part of the sequence of things.
if you believe in astrology — a pseudoscience i heavily correlate with, theres a lot of aspects that explain peoples intense chemistry with another person!
Also, why we do not have such chemistry with other people, no matter how hard we try to bond?
Just vibes, idk why.
I just had this experience yesterday with a man I wanted to buy a truck off of. As soon as he walked out it was a feeling like we’d already known eachother, we were joking and laughing. I almost felt guilty!! (I’m married and intend to buy the truck as a gift for my husband)
You’ve got chemistry. It happens. If it happens and you’re also compatible re personality and values it can be an amazing part of a relationship.
I found this BBC video quite interesting – they tested the theory that people will be attracted by the smell of those of the opposite sex with the biggest difference in DNA. The theory being that diverse genetics will enhance the survival chances of your offspring.
Video is [here](https://youtu.be/JtHia66-CKg)
Makes me think there is a lot of attraction that operates just below the surface. It also means that online dating is really a roll of the dice, because until you meet someone you can’t gauge this chemistry.
She’s in a relationship. Forbidden fruit
I can’t tell you why but I did experience this two times.
The first time was 7 years ago at university. Having a conversation or sitting on the stairs in half silence just waiting to get in the amphitheater felt really comforting. She had a similar energy to a close cousin so she felt like family almost. Didn’t try to really be friend or more outside the campus because I wasn’t in a happy place mentally, sort of pushing everyone away and she already had a BF back home.
Second time was 2 years ago and still kind of going, at work this time. She has that same comforting aura even though she has not exactly the same personality as the previous one. Her eyes, I swear times slows down when I fall into this pit. Her smell, I know she’s there or been there a few minutes before. Around her it’s like talking switches to easy mode. She’s smaller and rather on the slim side of the spectrum so I have this maybe primitive instinct that I want to protect her, it almost feels like I have to.
At one point I was this close to actually going for it romantically but I’m glad I didn’t because something felt off and despite the light digging for months I couldn’t put my finger on it. People were sort of cheering behind our back, it was clouding my judgement and when asked I said there are dealbreakers which is true but I almost reconsidered them. Then one day out of the blue after some more investigating she mentioned a bf and from what I got it wasn’t a new thing, like years old thing. I was at the same time very confused because you should have seen the flirting back and forth. People were cheering in private because she’s probably never mentioned this bf to other people as she doesn’t open up that much and isn’t on her phone messaging him constantly. But at the same time relieved that I finally put my finger on the off-thing. Time passed, I’ve accepted it and I’m fine with it. I’ve changed positions (not because of that) and my schedules and the people I work with on the regular have changed, her work hours have changed too but more recently. (It’s a sort of big workplace) We meet less as a result and I’ve moved on from those romantic feelings but she’s still a really sweet person and I only wish her happiness even though she got me mad confused at one point.
People are attracted to similarities and the both of you must have a lot of things that you can relate to or have in common. This is also why most twins seem so close compared to normal siblings because you share everything together from experiences to looks.