Women over 30, what would you say to someone a few years younger who is panicking and feeling like they are running out of time to figure things out? Career wise, relationship, marriage, etc.

18 comments

1. [removed]

2. I’m in my mid 30s and I’m gonna copy and paste a very helpful comment from another sub about not finding your passion/career:

   >I was in this situation. I’m now in my 50’s and still haven’t found my “calling”. 😀

   >I have accepted that I just don’t have a calling. There is nothing that I am passionate about enough to drive me to invest my life in it. And that’s OK. Living a good life with kindness, respect and love is all I need to do.

   >I’m watching my young adult son struggling with the whole “find your passion and follow it” that is often bandied around. Not everyone has a passion or a calling. And that’s OK.

   >Don’t be hard on yourself. Life is hard enough. Just be the best you.

3. If you want children, do that first. Easier when you are married but, don’t settle. Keep in mind you won’t have a moment to yourself for many years.

   If you want freedom, travel, etc. , do that but realize the older you get, the harder it is to have children.

   Unfortunately as a woman, those are our choices.

4. We all find our way through life at our own pace. It’s OK!

5. Life isn’t a competition, relax and enjoy the ride.

6. Still 60+ years left to figure things out.

   P.S.: The meaning of life is to travel the world and see as many countries and wonders as possible.

7. I’m 37 and I still haven’t figured out my life. It’s okay to still be lost; everyone starts their journey differently. You don’t have to have anything figured out.

   Career wise: I am still trying to figure that out.

   As far as marriage goes, I’m not planning on getting married or having kids.

8. Take your time to figure things out. Nothing in this life is ever guaranteed.

   I turned 33 today, I thought by now I’d be married, a couple of kids and have a career. But in reality, I’m engaged to an amazing man, we’re waiting to under go for ivf and I am in a job, I don’t necessarily hate, I don’t love it, but it pays well, I have no stress..it doesn’t follow me home.

   I’ve actually grown into myself ( I hope that resonates with someone) I’m happy for things to pad out as the need to. Being in my 30’s I don’t feel that clock ticking. As my Glaswegian granny would say, “ What’s for you won’t go by you.” There’s no time frame on that.

9. Don’t settle for less than. Even at 30 I have roughly 30 more years before I can entertain retirement. You absolutely will figure out a career in the next three plus decades.
   Don’t settle for less than on relationships, seriously look at any of the threads in this sub or other woman centered ones. The wrong partner will ruin your life and you shouldn’t feel rushed picking one. It’s better to be single than risk your life with the wrong guy.
   Don’t smoke cigarettes, take care of your teeth, start saving, take a vacation, you’ll sort yourself soon enough.

10. I would say “gurl, I’m 50 and haven’t even figured that shit out, you’ve got plenty of time for that”.

11. Dedicate yourself to being happy exactly where you are in life. The grass is not always greener on the other side. I look at life as a marathon, not a sprint – invest time into yourself, become your best you – this will serve you as you move through your career choices and relationships. It will also give you the freedom to be happy with yourself and where you are in life. You are better off single than in a bad partnership, you are better off seeking your next career move than being stuck in a path that you hate – put things in perspective- the world is your oyster.

12. I’m just over 30. And tbh I didn’t really feel like I had a good handle on my life until late 20s/now. Don’t panic and let things happen naturally and you’ll figure it out

13. I just turned 30. I feel younger than ever. Life’s just starting! I’m doing many things for the first time and loving it. There is no “late.” It happens when it happens.

14. You have so much time. Stop burning away today worrying about tomorrow and enjoy and live your life now. Life is not a race. It’s a journey. Spend your time on the journey rather than the end. We all get to the end eventually.

15. You have plenty of time for all those things. Nobody is on a timer. You don’t have to do certain things by the time you are X age. If you want to include those things in your life by all means, chase them, but they aren’t going to suddenly disappear forever if you don’t.

    Also, remember that human beings are persistence predators. We don’t sprint. We’re the Terminator, always in the rearview mirror, coming for our prey.

16. If you’re mid 30s trying to figure all this out still, focus on the relationships. Money will come, or won’t. But that social structure will support you through those variations. Relationships are living, the money making is just a means to do things you enjoy with people you love. Passions are often sparked by finding those people, and seeing what they are lacking and trying to help.

    *from someone who focused on the money first, and found herself alone, looking for people and a reason.

17. Figure out what in your life is a dream vs assumption.

    Have you always dreamt of marriage and children, or is it just something you assumed would happen for you along the way?

    Have you always dreamt of a prestigious career or do you just assume you have to be a “career woman” because reasons?

    Have you always dreamt of travel or do you just want the cool Instagram pics because that’s what everyone else seems to have this and you assume you should do it too so you don’t get FOMO?

    Figure out what YOUR dreams are, not the dreams of others.

18. Hitting 40 soon and don’t think I’ll ever figure anything out.

    Just take a day, a week, a job, a date at a time, try your best and leave the haters. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else except who you were yesterday and hopefully you’ll look back in 10years and can say: I might not have been perfect but I did as well as I could.