Hi guys,
There was a girl who didn’t reply for more than a month and then asked me if I still want to talk after 5 weeks, also said she that she stopped dating for a while because of some reasons. During our conversations, she was always replying late like a day or 2 days later.
Anyway, I said yes to retalk and after a couple of audio call we decided to meet.
Meeting was ok, even we talked the location of the next meeting. However she started to reply my messages after couple of days than I reply.
Do you think is it normal ? We chat a little bit not more than 10 min than I ask a question related to our conversation, then she replies after 2 days.
It makes me a little frustrating and don’t know how to behave.
Thanks for comments
19 comments
She’s just keeping you as an option in the background. I’d say thanks but no thanks and move on
I would say she isn’t that bothered. I always think if you take a while to reply you aren’t that interested.
Had the same with a girl who was 2 or 3 days to reply and never got a convo going even on WhatsApp. She wasn’t interested in the end..
Not replying to a text the same day (unless it’s late) is a huge red flag for me! Unless maybe the person tells you they are bad at texting, but even then I feel like it means communication may be difficult with this person.
Sounds like one of my matches. It’s about to be a month and a week since she last responded. You got further than I did for actually talking to her. But chin up any worthy endeavor is bound to require some sacrifice.
>also said she that she stopped dating for a while because of some reasons. During our conversations, she was always replying late like a day or 2 days later.
>Meeting was ok, even we talked the location of the next meeting. However she started to reply my messages after couple of days than I reply.
Sounds like she has a pattern of falling behind / getting overwhelmed by communication.
If you’re getting annoyed after one “okay” meeting, it’s fair to ask yourself if this is something you want to hassle with in the future.
There’s plenty of guys out there who communicate like this, she can get with them. There are also plenty of women who would better match your communication style.
option for sure. same thing happened to me years before. We chatted online and wanted to meet then she got cold feet. Then month later she reached back to me and while we met there wasnt chemistry.
Even now there’s this girl who texts me “happy weekend!” stuff like that when she basically ghosted me for 2-3 months (saying her work is so busy…). Also she wants to take it super slow (even seeing her fourth time she wouldnt let me touch her hand or hug) so yeah not worth it.
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While i would say “beggar cant be chooser” if you don’t have anyone else but it also shows you can be strung along too…
And frequency of replies… i feel its YMMV – what she shows during the date means more than how often she texts.
Do you ever delay your responses to someone you are really into?
I don’t and I believe a lot of people share this opinion. I hate messaging more than 5-10 messages in one sitting, and I can miss a message for a day or two, or I might get busy and just not look at my phone for days. But I get back to people who have messaged me, explain why I didn’t respond and talk to them afterwards.
In my opinion, if she’s not doing any of these, she’s probably just not into you but you’re not a bad person either, so you’re an alternative. It’s not a good dynamic to be in for anyone. However, I think it may also be reasonable to get a clarification from her. I’d just mention that the delayed responses are getting a bit frustrating and give her a way out. She’d either ghost or explain why.
Don’t think too much about it man, especially if they aren’t thinking that much about you.
Hmm. I wonder where the resident ”texts aren’t real life! Only in person matters, not texts!” crew is right now.
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When I’m excited about a man, I make it crystal clear.
I initiate conversation frequently, and I respond enthusiastically in a timely manner.
This woman is either not interested, or she is, but isn’t meeting your communication expectations.
You don’t sound compatible with each other.
She has options and you’re basically in cue whenever the others bore her or didn’t work out. I would proceed with caution if you’re looking for anything serious.
You should move on. I don’t think she’s really interested in you.
Who ever she was with, it didn’t work out so she reached back out to you and a few others. Whoever had most of her interest is getting the quickest replies (assuming that’s anyone). I also guarantee she’s swiping away the whole time.
To each their own, but I wouldn’t get too wrapped up in this.
Yea. It would be a no for me.
Well, I know people who communicate like that.
If she’s available for and eagerly participating in planning dates, I would let it slide – otherwise I would assume she’s not even really interested in keeping me as a backup and move on.
I would move on. If you feel like teaching her a lesson, tell her you found her behaviour frustrating and a turn off. She has to learn the lesson that men deserve a certain minimum of respect from someone, after all…
Lots of people don’t check apps often because life is busy. But if you’re frustrated, just move on.
The timer starts after you first meet. Things come up in people’s lives, including other people. If y’all had already met and then came back around after 5 weeks, I’d tell them to kick rocks.