I \[21M\] have been friends with 3 people (let’s call them K, D, and S) since the beginning of my college days. We also established a small firm where we freelanced and did tech-related projects for a handful of clients. We all bonded over tech and have been doing the usual friend-group things like sleepovers and house parties for the first year and a half. We had a very great bond until we had a new addition to this friend group, let’s call him ‘N’. N is a year senior to me and joined our group and the firm as a co-founder because K convinced all of us to let him in as he is more experienced. N and K got together very well, and K became an alcoholic/addict while staying with N. Soon, D also started getting involved with N and became a trio who later ended up keeping the firm while I and S backed out as co-founders. The firm wasn’t doing great, we had no clients no business and all the company funds were spent on partying by the trio. At that time N was also an intern at this one other company where I myself, K, D, and S ended up working full-time.

Over the period of time and due to the pandemic, the trio started hanging out even more while I and S moved away from the city to stay with our family. After the pandemic, I visited the company HQ while K was also visiting. During my stay there, he ended up being super drunk and apologized (which later he had no memory of) for being a bad friend and screwing up the business. I felt a bit sympathetic for him at that time and thought maybe we still had our bond of friendship. After a few days, N, K, and, the girl K was seeing at that time went partying. The girl and N ended up hooking up later and K was very furious when he found that out. But N convinced him that it was just a girl and he can’t be angry at N and destroy their friendship because of her. Idk how and why K was so gullible at that time that he agreed to N. A few weeks after that N, K, D, and S went backpacking without me as I had some family problems of my own at that time. N also somehow ended up getting on S’ good side. So with this, I was the outcast of the group. I started spending even less time with them physically because I absolutely hated the presence of N. N is very irresponsible, money-minded, asshole, manipulative, and an absolute piece of shit. He just has this ability to be very sociable and blends in so well in the crowd that people end up liking him. K even had to end a wonderful relationship with his GF because of N’s influence on him. I always wonder how is he able to make so much damage to people while still being their favorite. I definitely want to get away from this group but since we work in the same place, I don’t know how to do it on a non-professional level (?). The only friend I have apart from this group is my girlfriend, who also sees through N’s manipulative behavior and supports my decision of leaving this group. Please advise me on this, how should I do it.

TL;DR: Want to leave a group of college friends but I also share the same workplace with them and work together on a daily basis.

edit 1: briefer tl;dr
edit 2: P.S sorry for my bad English, it’s not my native language

1 comment
  1. A huge formal break up is melodramatic and unneeded. Stop prioritizing time with them and start prioritizing time with other people. that’s all

    These people aren’t sitting around wondering what you think. So don’t bother explaining it to them.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like