If a wedding invitation specifies two wedding colours but the couple says “don’t worry about that, it’s just a silly tradition, wear what you want” – are they just being polite?

14 comments

1. You should avoid those two colors. The wedding colors are meant for the wedding party.

2. so to be clear: it says something like “our wedding colors are [the colors]” and not “dress code for guests is [the colors]” or something like that? it’s just giving colors labeled as the wedding colors?

   wedding colors are typically the colors of the bridesmaids dresses and usually incorporated into the groomsmen outfits in some way. I found this photo on Google: https://www.wedgewoodweddings.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Symmetrical-CaleighKent-SterlingHills-JeninaSimplicioPhoto.jpg?width=3960&name=Symmetrical-CaleighKent-SterlingHills-JeninaSimplicioPhoto.jpg – it looks like the “wedding colors” for this wedding are red and this is the wedding party in those colors. the guests typically do not wear the wedding colors. it’s a bit unique to include these colors on the invitation, but maybe they just want to let people know in case they want to get a card that features the colors, or something like that.

3. Question: what are wedding colors?

4. I’m taking that as “If you own something in these colors, then cool, but don’t feel obligated to buy an outfit just for our wedding.”

5. Only the wedding party is supposed to match the color pallette.

   Assuming you’re not a member of the wedding party, they’re telling you it’s fine if you accidentally happen to wear similar colors to the wedding, because it’s unlikely you’re going to match the shade or style worn by the party anyway.

   If the weddings colors are like rose gold and navy blue or something, you don’t have to avoid blues or pinks altogether. Just try to avoid wearing too much of those two specific colors.

6. I would say it’s just a helpful tip for guests if they want to make sure their clothes don’t clash w/ the decorations.

7. I’ve never seen such a thing.

   One general rule. Don’t wear white unless you’re the bride. Groomsmen usually match, bridemaids usually match. Bride, white. Groom, whatever, people attending : anything but white or a full on Men In Black mourning attire.

8. Where in California? Southern? Wear something buttoned down and perhaps shoes if it’s an indoor venue. Northern CA might be a bit different. Also is it the woman or the man calling it a silly tradition? If it’s the woman, she’s just being polite. The man probably doesn’t care much. Either way, I’d go multi coloured and comfortable.

9. Wedding colors are what the bridal party will where and what the decorations will incorporate. Nothing more.

10. The last part of the quote is their truth and the part you should pay attention to.. wear what you want.

    (I mean, that’s how I’d see it if it were directed towards me)

11. Outside of the bright already or the extended family wedding colors are irrelevant and everything but wrapping that goes on the gift. If you’re in the bridal party you likely already have an outfit picked out for you, if you’re in the family then you add something light such as an accent piece in those colors, if you’re just a regular guest you don’t need to worry.

12. They want guests to wear the colors they chose for their theme.

    They do not want to sound bossy though.

    So they have not made it an absolute edict.

    I would wear one or both of the colors to the wedding. Why not. Make them happy.

13. It sounds like it doesn’t matter. I mean, they basically said that. What with them calling traditions “silly.” I don’t think they’ll care unless they’re extremely passive aggressive or something.

    The only hard and fast rule that’s implicit is that women don’t wear white dresses. I’ve never heard about not wearing wedding party colors (it’s bound to happen since people usually pick common colors like navy or green). I’m inclined to think it’s not a problem unless directly told not to, since the vast majority of folks don’t include it on the wedding invitation. The fact that they did is highly unusual.

14. Ok so the “wear what you want” is the clue here. He is saying what the colors are and then saying but wear what you want and it’s a silly tradition. Clearly, he is asking you to wear the colors. It’s possibly a tradition in his family because that isn’t the norm. I think this is why you are getting conflicting responses. Normally, the wedding party has a color scheme and not the guests.