Okay so I’ve (22 M) got a friend (20 F) me and her have clicked since day one but we’ve never been more than friends. It even got around the office that me and her were a thing but unfortunately that isn’t true. Ive got feelings for her but I value her friendship wayy more than I value the idea of gambling that friendship to upgrade to a relationship. So I held out and kind of missed my chance because she is currently dating a cop (25 M). He’s showing some hella toxic signs. He also does NOT like me in the slightest. Pretty sure he can tell how I feel about her. But nonetheless we are all going out for her 21st birthday this Friday and I’m concerned for how this is going to go. He has a bad habit of running his mouth when he’s drunk and I’m worried that it’s going to become a sticky situation. But that’s the short term problem. Over the past year that they have been together she is constantly calling me to tell me about their problems (it’s worth noting that she is always drunk when she calls). Every few weeks they have a big blow up and she comes to me for advice. But I’m finding it increasingly harder and harder to listen to their issues. It’s like a stab in the heart everytime I hear that they went out together somewhere. Any words of encouragement? Discouragement? Advice?
1 comment
You need to find someone else it aint healthy to surround yourself with someone you have feelings for if they have a partner it sounds like been friends with her is not good for you either as its causing you to experiance negative emotions.
Relationships have their ups and downs she proberly gives as good as she gets and by the sound of it drinks alot I wouldn’t go there trouble is you could be seen as a home wrecker for pursuing her.
Right now you may not care but I find people who home wreck do eventally deeply regret it. My rule is if a women’s got a boyfriend/husband I will respect that and treat them like I would a friends girlfriend.
You have to also remember you only hear her side all the time you’re not only gunna be bias as fuck because you have feelings but also because you get your information only from her you can’t judge him as a person untill you know both sides.
Just don’t lower yourself to a home wreckers level even if she was to leave him for you it would be on your mind constantly you could be the next to get left for a friend imo I would distance myself. You deserve to be first choice for someone else.