I’m 20m and just wanted to ask women and men what they think about “good guys” the guys who treat a woman they like like she is the queen of the world… I always get turned down because I’m “too nice” an stuff like that but I don’t want to change and try to become an asshole even though I ain’t one. That’s why I’m asking you people for your Storys and experiences
Excuse any grammar errors, English is not my first language đ
15 comments
if a woman tells you sheâs not interested because youâre too nice, you dodged a bullet. however, by too nice they might mean too passive/pushover/etc which isnât exactly attractive.. you can be nice but also assertive, active, not be afraid of expressing opposite opinions, etc.
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Yes we do, but usually the problem is that sometimes when a girl says âyouâre too niceâ is might be because youâre not moving the relationship forward romantically. You can be nice but still be dominant. ie: kiss her but still be nice and respectful and ask to kiss. If she genuinely want to be treated poorly then move on.
r/niceguys
I am also that kind of guy which wants to have girl which I can treat as princess.
But I think there is difference between being good and kind person, but being strong in your life opinions, and being passive.
Women want to have a rock to which they can trust, even if it hurts to crash into it.
Edit: If girl wants cool troublemaker, move on. You will find your one. People become more mature with age so I think you will have more chances.
Ngl youâre probably not being turned down because youâre âtoo niceâ even if thatâs what they give u as an easy excuse. Itâs more likely that you donât match the energy they want eg: you might be moving too fast for your partner, or saying you love them/ theyâre perfect before youâve gotten to know them. In general ppl donât like being put on a pedestal for no reason, they wanna be loved for them, not just because theyâre a woman
Maybe try going slower/ reigning it in a little at first and then slowly treat them more like a Queen as the relationship becomes established
No one has fallen for someone simply after learning that their head over heels for them and they will do anything for them and worship the ground they walk on and yadda yadda.Sure it can be flattering,maybe even an ego boost but no ones gonna think of you as their ideal future significant other.There has to be some level of attraction and you need to have certain attractive traits like confidence,assertiveness,integrity,high self esteem,not being a pushover etc.If you are being rejected for being “too nice”,either the girl is not worth dating or she isn’t attracted to you but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by giving the actual reason orr you lack the things I just mentioned .You don’t need to be an asshole,just be a good person who can actually stand up for themselves and is confident,those things can co-exist.Lastly women aren’t attracted to assholes,they just “tolerate” the asshole-ness if the guy is extremely attractive.Guys do this too,they will have a girl/wife that treats them like shit but wont leave her cause “bro shes so hot tho”. Just a case of pretty privilege,so No,unless you look like the half brother of Chris hemsworth,being an asshole isn’t going to improve your dating game at all. Best of luck out there.
Dude life experiences is going to change you. No woman is queen of the world. Now loving and respectful is another thing. Good luck.
When people say youâre too nice what they mean is youâre too needy/desperate.
Itâs not that women donât care for âgood guysâ, itâs that asshole-ness is often taken for self-confidence. Which in itâs turn is often perceived as sexy.
The good thing is, you already know who you want to be. Be yourself and keep that self-confidence. If sheâs the girl, who can appreciate that, being you could be the most attractive thing.
We just say that. Itâs a lie. We love good guys. But he still has to be the right guy.
Treating a woman as if she’s the queen of the world isn’t being a “good guy”.
Too nice means you are putting them on a pedestal that they donât A) deserve or B) want. It also probably means you have no boundaries and are easily pushed around, you do things like agreeing with everything they say to try and stay on their good side⊠this is all approval seeking behaviour and the reason women donât like it is because it isnât genuine, like she knows you are only doing it because you are infatuated, you are faking it.
You donât need to be an asshole. You just need to have boundaries, tell her you disagree with her when you disagree with her, sometimes do what you want to do instead of always just doing what she wants to do, donât just kiss her ass and hope that it will make her fall for you, it doesnât work like that.
>guys who treat a woman they like like she is the queen of the world…
This is more the definition of a *Nice Guy*^tm than an actual nice guy.
An actual nice guy would treat the women with respect both to her and himself, not putting her in a pedestal.
“You’re too nice” is just a gentle way of saying “I’m not attracted.” This doesn’t necessarily mean anything about looks, but probably just that she doesn’t see you as a romantic/sexual possibility because you’re passive, you lack confidence, you don’t flirt, etc.