We’ve been together for eight months and she’s only recently started doing this. Whenever we have sex she lays there like a starfish, not participating. Then she’ll say “finally” after I finish, like she couldn’t wait for it to be over. I have talked to her about it and she just said “I don’t do that”. But she does, and I don’t know what to do
29 comments
Maybe you could act like Patrick so you can be two starfish doing it instead of just one.
Stop having sex with someone who isn’t participating and apparently doesn’t want to. If she initiates it then make her be on top.
Lol females are so funny.
Next time just stop and lay there on top of her moaning “when will it end? When will it end?”
From a female perspective, you probably have a history of not enough foreplay, finishing too fast, or somehow otherwise leaving her unsatisfied. How can you carry on having sex with her when she’s so obviously not into it ?
Have you been getting her off? If it wasn’t always this way then I assume she’s doing it in response to being repeatedly left unsatisfied.
Do you warm her up? Oral or maybe bring sex toys in? A lot of women actually can’t even feel pleasure from sex. Just a thought.
Gaslighting early I see. This is not a healthy relationship. Starfish isnt great, but straight gaslighting is very bad.
How was your sex life before this? Is there foreplay and did she usually finish? I agree with the other commenters also, if she isn’t into it stop having sex.
Maybe try to spice things up in the bedroom? See what she’s into, communicate kinks, try to make sex fun again. If she doesn’t care and doesn’t want to change things, I would say reevaluate the relationship for sure.
Sounds like she doesn’t like you very much. I assume you’re young, seems like she’s checked outta sex and, judging by the gaslighting: the relationship, too. Sexual incompatibility is a very valid reason to end a relationship.
I wish I can be relaxed like her. But with bf skill I can’t possibly be a starfish . I am a squid or octopus
Are you selfish in bed? Do you guys only do one position?
My ex was like this. Turns out she’s now dating a woman. Healthy sex life is important. It’s not worth the years of misery.
It all goes downhill from here, friend.
There we go. Less than 30 comments and the majority are already blaming you and defending her. Smh
She’s checking out and doesn’t enjoy sex with you anymore. On top of that she’s gaslighting you
If she’s doing this, why do you keep doing it until you climax? Seems like you may be a selfish lover and she is making you aware of it.
Just stop fucking her and she will be begging for it.
Maximum 4 months before you move on. Use her as you wish because if she’s not going to engage in one of the most important things in a relationship, the rest is soon to follow. This is lazy woman 101. Move on, this lump of a woman isn’t worth it, but get your jollies in the mean time.
Poke the starfish in the starfish?/s
All the comments, and I agree. You need to give some more context for anybody to give good advice.
She’s probably just given up faking orgasms dude. Ask her what she wants and make it your mission in life to make her cum.
Red flag. Have a serious chat to her about it and see what is going on. Make sure that you are pleasing her in the bedroom.
This happened to me and 7 years later it’s just as bad.
maybe she’s not a sexual person
She isn’t into sex or you don’t have the right combination of timing and skill. If she isn’t turned on she may be just placating you because she feels she has to, but it doesn’t do much for her. You may take too long. Ask her is she turned on. Ask her what turns her on. There is a lack of communication from you as well.
Maybe try get her to go on top or what does she like to do in bed that you also really like ?
OP definitely shit in bed
Do you make her cum, or are you all about YOUR pleasure? She might be bored out of her mind by your technique or your selfishness, and dissociates from intimacy without even knowing it. Sexual trauma from the past can also cause subconscious dissociation from the moment because it’s too painful and re-traumatizing. The fact that she denies doing it, points even more towards dissociation. You should talk to her, ask her a lot of questions about her experience and her level of pleasure she gets from sex with you. Be curious about HER. It may be her, or it may be YOU.