I don’t understand why people tear others down and “bust their balls”. It seems so pointless to just be a douche for no reason. Like is it really just to create some imaginary “alpha” mindset where you’re above everyone?
At what cost, to make others feel horrible about themselves? I work with a bunch of people like this who constantly tear each other down and call each other names and it seems like everyone laughs at it but I genuinely do not understand this dynamic of socializing.
Does anyone relate? Can anyone explain this to me?
4 comments
Part of the issue for you is we are socialised into the I’ma of a social hierarchy. So for instance when I encounter a social hierarchy where being physical, insulting and a ‘bro’ is required to scale it, I actually downvote these guys down.
Do you see what I’m saying. There isn’t an all-encompassing hierarchy. It’s internally generated and you place yourself somewhere in it based on the rules you’ve internalized. And we get along better with people who have compatible evaluation scales of social dominance.
alpha, sigma and what not 😄
as long as it helps you build confidence it can be a good goal for a while, but it must be discarded as soon as you are there…
Also if one is calling themselves alpha, it is bit lame…
If you lived your life well, people should call you all this…
The pretension can be a different thing but if you really think someone is above or below you, and thats how you treat the world then be aware you are blind.
You will always live in prejudice, instead of seeing the world as it is, you will see the world as you imagine it in your head.
and how right have you been all.your life? just asking!!
#dont look up to anybody and dont look down on anybody… as simple as that…
regarding your office,If they are genuinely enjoying and laughing at it, it must be a banter between friends… but if they are sad over it and then its just insecurities, sadness and bullying…
I think you understand it better than you realize, it just doesn’t feel right does it?
In a business setting, power can be a use it or lose it situation. If you don’t lay down the law everyday, people won’t listen to you when it’s important. Good managers exercise their power to keep the team running smoothe. Bad managers flex their power to push people around. One uses routines, rewards, and expectations to get people to do what they want. The other uses fear and intimidation to scare people in line. Either way, a team needs a leader and the workplace needs structure.
Obviously I’m missing a fair bit of context here so excuse me if I’m misunderstanding, but maybe they’re just close friends? Me and my buddies always break each other’s balls and shit talk each other, it’s just our way of making each other laugh and lightening the mood especially during work. At the end of the day we all care for each other its just fun and no one takes it too far.
If they’re doing it to you and you’re not really well aquatinted then thats kind of strange, though it could mean they want you to join in with them.
Or I may just have this all twisted and this is less friendly banter and more unwanted bullying, and if thats the case those folks just suck.