I (19F) began talking to this guy (19m) in May, but I “ghosted” him after a bit. I’m putting ghosted in quotation marks because I was the one leading all of the conversation. After the conversation died out, I stopped messaging because I wanted him to make an effort in restarting it. But he never did.
I just recently got a new job, and found out that he’s one of my coworkers (in a different department, but I see him sometimes). Prior to the ghosting, we went on a few dates and I definitely found him attractive and loved hanging out with him (and he seemed to enjoy hanging out with me). So after I saw him again, I messaged him and we went on another date. It was a bit awkward, but enjoyable.
So I tried planning another date with him and he said he’d let me know when he was free. But that was a week ago with no message since. I see him pretty much everyday and he doesn’t seem too busy and he’s friendly whenever we interact.
This is the first guy I’ve actually liked in years and I really wanted things to grow from this. Maybe I’m just desperate and ignoring the obvious signs, but I just wanted advice on if I should message him again or not?
I thought about sending something like “I like you and if you don’t like me back, that’s ok, but could you just let me know?”, but I’m a bit hesitant on sending it. While I won’t be seeing him as often anymore, I don’t want to make things awkward.
TL;DR: ghosted by a guy and debating reaching out to him again.
5 comments
“I like you. Do you or don’t you, like me?”
Don’t message him.
You already have your answer you just don’t like it.
If he was interested he’d have messaged you and set up another date. He hasn’t done that. I know that’s not what you want to hear but never, ever chase someone who doesn’t want you. You deserve better. Why go after someone who’s so meh about you he can’t be arsed to so much as text? Let him go. There are much better guys out there who will appreciate you and want to hang out with you and they’ll be the ones contacting you and making sure you have plans to meet up again. This guy is not the one for you. Move on.
This us a coworker, so don’t put anything embarrassing in writing.
Just accept that he is probably not interested. With most people, if iy’s not a “hell yeah”, it’s a no.
He’s not putting in enough effort. Put your energy into men who will reciprocate that wholeheartedly. Just for your sake. Never give too much and get little in return.
Message him again and again and again and continue the cycle until you force him to obey. That’s the obvious answer here.