I (21F) have never experienced an orgasm. I’ve been with only 2 partners but have had sex a generous amount with both. I enjoy sex and get pleasure from it but have never reached orgasm. Or so I think?
Recently my current boyfriend and I have had sex and afterwards we find a mysterious liquid on him and sometimes on the bed. Visibly it’s not his cum. We’ve smelled it and it smells like absolutely nothing, so I’m thankful it’s apparently not pee lmao. But I’m confused if it’s cum from me or not? During sex I typically feel a consistent feeling of pleasure that doesn’t end in a heightened climax. So I’m wondering if it’s common for a woman to finish and not feel it as an orgasm? It’s weighing on me a bit because I’ve always wanted to experience an orgasm and if I technically have but don’t feel it that kinda…disappoints..
9 comments
It’s unlikely to have an orgasm and not know it (although certainly possible), but I’d say it’s at least somewhat common for women to ejaculate without having an orgasm. So it’s not abnormal in any way.
no, you will know
I think the best way to find out is for you to literally take matters into your own hands(pun, not intended) and see if you can orgasm/reach a climax.
It’s safe to assume that a significant amount of women don’t reach an orgasm through penetration alone and more often than not require other forms of stimulus. So first you need to know your body and then you’ll know.
Also, I’m a guy so take my advice with a pinch of salt. My experience is just through the partners I’ve had sex with and eventually discovering how to reach an orgasm for both people involved
It’s your natural lubrication. Masturbate, so you know how it should feel. There’s no shame in getting to know your body. Hope you eventually find someone who makes you orgasm.
It’s entirely possible that you just get really wet, and that’s what that liquid is. That’s way more likely than you having unknown orgasms; women generally are extremely aware when they’re having an orgasm.
Once you know how your own body works, you can tell your boyfriend what you want to get you there. It’ll make your relationship better to know what you want, and it’s up to you to figure that out.
Of course you can explore together and experiment with different things, but it’ll be easier and quicker to take it into your own hands. Ball is in your court on this one haha
If it is unscented and clear.. it means you squirted. This can be right before an orgasm, usually due to the gspot being stimulated very well.
The orgasm itself you should feel, you clearly enjoy penetration but very few women can have a orgasm from that alone. Let him drop his body down a bit and grind against your clitoris. Or stimulate the clitoris by hand, that is most likely where your orgasm lays.
Squirting indicates a lot of build up and satisfaction so stimulation of the clit should not take too long. If he has finished, let him remain inside, then stimulate the clitoris. Or, have him try oral on you while using his fingers.
Hope this helps
Hi, I’m a woman who didn’t have her first orgasm until her late 20s. I have been through this, and thought maybe you’d find my input valuable:
What you’re experiencing is normal, but not an orgasm. It’s lubrication coming from stimulation to ease penetration. Sometimes it can indicate that you’re feeling aroused and are enjoying it, but it can also happen as a natural response purely because your genitals are being stimulated.
Now, for the orgasm bit. Are you interested in trying to orgasm? If yes, read on, if not that’s okay. Maybe you’ll feel like it later in life, maybe you won’t. But that’s for you to work out, not Reddit. Now:
Know that most women can’t cum from penetration only, they need clitoral stimulation. How your clit responds to stimulation depends on your body. No two women are exactly the same here. So it will take experimentation and some dedication.
It took me a long time to feel comfortable enough with myself to give it a proper go, and when I mean a proper go, I mean buying a nice vibrator (whichever kind you feel comfortable with but I’d suggest one that focuses on the clit), having an evening all alone, turning off my phone/devices and just trying all different sorts of things, both with the vibrator and with your hands and with a combination of both. Preferably an evening where you are already turned on naturally, as that will make it easier.
Personally, I was getting annoyed, because I could feel myself being horny often, but could find no release. But I had also given up really quickly everytime I had tried and thought it was no use. Therefore, the first time around for me it took ages, though I could feel it slowly building up and working, but this was after literal hours of just toying with myself. Then I finally found an angle that gave a sensation I enjoyed and kept at it. And boy was it worth it by the end. Took me some weeks to try again later on, because I had overworked my clitoris, but at least then I knew I could.
Is there anything that makes you horny to think about? Your boyfriend maybe or an actor/acress? Personally, I find making up scenarios in my head is good for me while playing with myself, doesn’t have to be big, elaborate stories, but little titillating scenes that help get me going. I only very occasionally watch porn and try to be ethical in my consumption of it, but maybe that works for you. Only you will know.
Once you have worked out how your body works, it’s so much easier to incorporate it into sex with another person. You can use the vibrator while having sex, you can teach your boyfriend how to use it. And same goes for how to use hands down there. I would even suggest looking at your gentials with a handheld mirror if you haven’t and make peace with how your body looks and love it for what it can do for you.
Hope this helps <3
It’s just that you’re wet, which has to happen for penetration to be comfortable. You haven’t really masturbated if you’ve just touched it a bit. Get a vibrating sex toy and hold it over your clit, could happen very quick or take half an hour, but it’ll work if you’re patient.