\*mutually engaging though texting
All the people I text that I know our our text conversations are usually short, dry, and not mutually engaging.
They only really goes at length for practical conversations like making plans. I can and have talked about mutual interests and other relevant things through text but they always die off very quickly usually with either they or I getting bored of texting or either side doesn’t pick up the conversation again so it ends there.
You wouldn’t even think we were close if you’d read our text conversations but in person it is the complete opposite. These people I can talk with for hours on end in person and have great conversations with but the second you put screens of text between us it just seems to kill the communication.
What do people even talk about and text that is so mutually engaging? I don’t know how people can be frequent texters.
2 comments
Mutual interests? But then again texting kinda sucks altogether so for the most part I just can’t be asked.
Most of the times I have seen this problem being caused by people feeling on some internal level that texting is more formal than irl dialogue, so they are being less open. And it may even be happening subconsciously – they just text this way and talk the other.
To gain more insight into what is really happening, you can do a little experiment – compare transcription of your real dialogue and messages. You may notice many fillers and meaningless yet so important phrases missing, people being less inclined to talk about nothing, getting straight to the point and finishing off the dialogue before it even really began.
The other possible reason is that you or people you are talking with are “closed” by-default and you need to see and feel someone you know and trust to really open up and text is just not enough for that.
There are no easy solutions to this “problem” – some people are texters and some are not, you don’t have to be one. Moreover, it is not guaranteed that you will be able to be one and enjoy it. However, you can try introducing elements from real dialogue into texting.