I (f24) have never been able to reach climax by myself or with my partners. I know it could be down to a variety of things but I have tried everything to help me – toys, porn, relaxation.
Important to note:
– I have a history of child sexual abuse so it possibly could be some sort of mental block? But I’ve had years of therapy as a child following disclosure and feel like I’ve completed closed that horrible chapter of my life.
– I’ve also been on SSRI Antidepressants since I was 16 and remain on them. I know it can result in sexual dysfunction but even prior to 16 I have no memories of reaching climax. Currently on 75mg Sertraline.
– I get no sensation in my clit. Oral does nothing for me. I mainly feel pleasure from penetration.
I have been able to get some kind of “feeling” from wrapping a towel tightly between my legs and making climbing motions. However if that is an orgasm it is so super blunted, requires lots of physical exertion and leaves me often feeling more sexually frustrated due to how unrewarding it feels.
I feel like I’m missing out on a huge part of sex. Any advice?
1 comment
I’m sorry you’ve been struggling with this for so long but you at least seem to know yourself and the problem quite well which i imagine will only help moving forward.
First, it’s hard to give advice when someone says they’re on an SSRI. They are so notoriously known for affecting libido, quality of orgasm, and ability to orgasm generally. If i were you, that’s where I’d start. If you haven’t already, bring up your sexual dysfunction concern to your prescriber to see if lowering your dose or changing medication or adding a medication is recommended.
If you haven’t already as well, I would also try to really embrace and experiment with what has provided the most pleasure so far, which sounds like internal stimulation and leg tensing/closed leg positions. So perhaps an internal toy or piv where you are laying on your side and can tense your muscles or prone bone for the same effect. Try combining multiple types of stimulation even. Also, you didn’t mention any mental stimulation (as opposed to visual) that you partake in so maybe written erotica would be worth trying instead of porn in case it primes you for greater arousal? Furthermore, optimizing your physical health may give a little more boost for both blood flow and sexual function generally. Just some random thoughts. But despite you not orgasming even before the SSRI (some women don’t figure out how to reach orgasm until later years even without these obstacles), the SSRI seems like it could be a huge contributing factor.