I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10+ years, and we’ve talked about being married and having kids at some point, and our relationship is going smoothly with no complaints. We are also our each other’s only sexual experience and I can’t help but feel a bit guilty about it. I fear i’m living a childish fantasy of an ideal monogamous relationship. My boyfriend is a very sexual person, and although we have had conversations of this subject matter, he isn’t exclusively interested in having sex with other people. As for myself, I have pondered on the subject matter for quite sometime, and while I’ve concluded I do feel sexually towards others, this isn’t something I want to act upon at all. I don’t mind being with him sexually the rest of our lives, in fact I would prefer that. But I fear, since he’s a man (sorry if this sounds sexist), he might regret not having sex with other people before we truly settle and start a family.
People who are in long term relationships, how can you overcome this rut? Is this passing guilt or should I be concerned with this subject? For people who have felt similarly, how’d it work out for you?
TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been together since high school and our each other’s first. I feel guilty that he hasn’t tried it out with other people and fear this might back fire in the long run.
3 comments
People may or may not regret all sorts of things, but if my partner makes a choice and tells me he thinks this is the right choice for him, then I trust him to be a reasonably wise and sensible person and the best expert there is on what is right for him personally.
Allow yourself to feel the way you do. You don’t have to disclose your feelings.
Just love the way you want to love.
Whaaattt…?
Feeling guilty?
Oh, man, you should be feeling blessed!
Because you really are!