Hi, I’m having a little trouble, I have been dating a girl around 1 month, yesterday I went out on a date with her in a picnic on the park I usually taking her home around 10 but this time things started to get hot and we ended in my home, and I ended taking her home at 1am, she told me her dad was very angry and he wants to talk to me.
We both are 19y, and we are not in a relationship yet but I want and she wants a long term relationship, I have little experience in relationships she would be my second girlfriend
What do you think her dad will tell me?
All this to be prepared or at least to have an idea to what expect to talk
Greetings;)
34 comments
She is 19 years old, which makes her an adult- a young adult- but an adult nonetheless. She isn’t your girlfriend, and by the sounds of it this isn’t a friendly invite to meet the family, this is some prick who wants to lay down the law.
I would straight up tell her you are dating an adult not a child, she is responsible for her relationship with her Dad and she is also responsible for what time she wants to go home, you made sure she got home safely and was looked after, you did your bit. Say you aren’t in a relationship as of yet, if it gets that far then it will be appropriate to meet family and friends etc but until that point absolutely not. If that is an issue let her go, that is not the type of drama you want when you are trying to get to know somebody, you want to date a responsible young lady with a healthy relationship with her parents, not a little girl who has a bed time to adhere to.
I would not go inside of dad’s house. Have that conversation outside if the woman is worth all that trouble anyway.
Leave
She’s 19, not 16. She can deal with her dad, who seems very overbearing. This isn’t your fight.
Her dad being mad at you for her not keeping track of the time isn’t your fault. If you end up talking to him and he’s not outright hostile I’d say just roll with it. If he’s a total ass, good luck dating her, no matter what you do you’ll be starting in the wrong. You will either stand there and take a verbal (hopefully only verbal) beating from him, or tell him that she was responsible for being home on time and piss him off.
It’s going to be a lose lose if she cares what her dad thinks.
I’m pretty sure he’s upset because you brought her home late. He’s probably going to talk to you about the importance of bringing a girl home on time. It’s generally not safe for women outside at night time. Tell him you didn’t know that, apologize and make sure that never happens again.
After you and her have become old enough to move out from your houses, you won’t need that rule. Having said that, most adults don’t feel the need to go out late at night.
Don’t be afraid of him and don’t let him intimidate you. Stand up for yourself if he tries to threaten you with guns. Some men are possessive of their daughters. Perhaps you can take your dad with you for the talk. He can wait outside in the car.
Welp put on your big boy shorts and learn how to fight romeo.
Seriously tho just be confident collected and make a decent impression
He has no authority over you. If he starts telling you to do things he can stuff it.
Wear a bulletproof vest and go talk to him:)
Unless you’re abusing her, 19 is a little old to be that protective of your daughter. Seriously I’d tell her that if he wants to talk to you that bad HE can come to YOU. It you’re going to deal with this, do it on your turf. And if he disrespects you (or worse), you tell him to get the hell out of YOUR HOUSE. If he puts up a fight, call the police and have him trespassed. But don’t go to him.
He’ll tell you to have her home by 10. It will be a warning.
You owe him literally nothing. Don’t give him the time of day. He shouldn’t be making any demands of someone he doesn’t know.
He is going to threaten to kick your ass. Duhhh.most people who threaten this blatenly are most bluffing.
If he is serious, he won’t make it that obvious, he simply tell you to leave his daughter alone, never take advantage of her, stop harassing her etc…. That is more serious, in his mind he is defending his baby girl from you. That can escalate real quick toviolence or police getting involved.
I was responsible for defending my sisters when I was younger, which ment putting guys like you in the hospital or in a grave, my father didn’t much care. Thank God it never came to that, my sisters were kind of unattractive lol.
You guys aren’t in a relationship so there’s no need to talk to the dad. My dad was the same way with everyone that I was in a relationship with so if anything he’ll probably want to talk about how you need to respect his daughter and all that since she’s still living at home.
I’ve had a similar thing happen and those guys, in my experience, respect and usually end up liking a guy more if he’s willing to do something like that for his daughter. It may be scary to meet him, but if it’s going to be a long term relationship then you should do it. Up to you though.
Be a man. Be steadfast and tell her you like her daughter and want a future with her.
I think hes gonna pull out a shotgun and than “talk” with you so dont ever go in a 10 mile radius of that house ever again
Congrats, he’s taking you to the range. Play your cards right and he will continue to be a friend and father figure for the rest of your life. Even if he determines that the rest of your life is only 30 seconds.
If you really like her you should probably talk to her dad and ask her what she told him and corroborate her story.
I’ve dated girls with dads like that (in high school). They typically aren’t that hard to please. You just need him to be ok with you otherwise he’ll be a major obstacle.
It really depends on the dad but if he’s a decent dude and hasn’t been to prison or anything he should be fairly easy to win over if you don’t have face tats.
Omg, i have never thought about guns in this situation, I live in Mexico so guns are not easy to get but idk it’s a possibility haha
Thank you all for your advice, now I have some idea to what to expect if he yet want to talk to me the next time I go out with her, but I’m thinking she is solving it by herself because we was texting in the afternoon and she told me his dad was a bit more relaxed
But anyways, I never thought in that perspective that she should solve that kind of problems with they parents but yeah it’s true
That’s why I love Reddit
I really like her, she was my crush since high school so for me it’s worth the risk haha
I’m seeing her on weekend so I will be updating this post;)
If im still aliveee.-.
Don’t meet him. Unless you did something bad to her, you don’t owe him jack. The problem is between him and his daughter and you shouldn’t be dragged into that.
Go speak to the father. Let him remind you of responsibility and right conduct for his daughter and let him see that you can front up and not be a hide and avoid type guy.
You’re old enough to die for country, tell the dad his anger is with his daughter and they should talk about that.
Not your problem she and her father are adults they need to have the talk about rules of the house and timekeeping. Got nothing to do with you, dont bother getting involved anything you say wont be the right answer in her fathers eyes.
This is straight up infantalizing women. She’s an adult, it’s weird enough that her dad is behaving like he’s the guardian of her sexuality, let alone thinking it’s a discussion between himself and you. Just gross.
Refuse to treat her like a child and tell her that her decisions are hers alone, then don’t get involved with any of this patriachal archaic bullshit. I hope she gets away from it for her own sake!
Others are saying “he has no authority over you” but are missing the diplomacy because they are not involved. I was in a similar situation.
I spoke to him and his gripe was that a random guy (me) is taking his daughter around and he is sitting worried at home wondrring what has happened and if she is alright. My response was “I understand and I would never jeopardize your daughters safety”
We broke up months later (unrelated, she had her priorities) but I still see her dad years later in town and he still shakes my hand and we chat.
Be honest (ish), be cordial, get invited to Thanksgiving dinner.
Tell her to give him your number if he’s requesting a conversation. You’re 19 years of age, a legal adult. If his daughter disrespected the rules of his home, that’s between him and her, not you. Should he become physically or verbally aggressive towards you during the conversation or in the future, tell your father, and you both handle him and his massively inflated chauvinistic ego accordingly.
Did you check her ID? lol I’d ask to see it… sounds like she may have lied about her age. OR she has boundary issues w her dad. 🤷🏻♂️
Yes she’s 19, but in his mind I’m sure he thinks he still thinks of her as a kid that needs his protection. It’s hard for parents to make that sudden gear shift from 17 year old “I must protect this child” to 18 year old “they’re a full adult that doesn’t need me”. He could also just be a controlling asshole, but you won’t know which one he is unless your girlfriend can fill you in.
That being said it’s not your fight and I hope your girlfriend helps smooth things out because it’s her she should be talking to, but if you do feel inclined to meet him and do intend to continue dating her, I’d approach the situation respectfully, and refer to her as the decision maker. If she wants to be home by 10, awesome. If she wants to stay out until 1am, that’s also up to her.
If the dad was smart, he’d invite you over for dinner and calmly ask the two of you your intentions like a calm and reasonable human being.
Many people are saying you should avoid father and let your girl face her own problems but I think that if you both want a relationship you should talk to her dad, at the end of the day respect on her side of the family will always be an important part of the relationship, and her dad will respect you more.
The whole ‘dad trying to intimidate the guy his daughter is with’ is a tactic for dads to try and figure out if the guy is just trying to sleep with his daughter and bounce or if he has some spine. The idea is that if the guy just wants to hit it and quit it he will run at the first sign of pushback from the dad.
Just tell him you like his daughter, throw in a reason why (something you both enjoy doing together). If he gives you shit about bringing her home late you can just say you lost track of time and you didn’t mean to. Dads don’t actually hate the boyfriends, they just don’t want their daughter dating a guy that’s worthless. So they do shit to try and make sure the guy is ok. Find something to connect with him about so he will be excited to talk to you when you show up.
It’s going to be the standard talk of “respect my daughter”.
Cause be assumes something happened when she came home late.
And you haven’t put the title in place yet…so he thinks his little girl is being used by a player.