Burner account for this one cuz I feel like trash.
I’ve been dating my current gf for a few years now and I love her so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. That being said I’ve been having a really hard time lately and even in the past about a girl I used to be really close with in high school. This girl used to be my best friend, we talked every day, hung out pretty much every day, even went to senior prom together, but it never went beyond that. Needless to say we were extremely close and I ended up falling for her pretty hard. I dont know if I’d call it love because we never dated, never hooked up, nothing, but I feel like it was the closest thing to love.
Anyway, I ended up moving away for college and met someone else, we started dating and now we’re still together. I found out later that when I had moved, my friend from highschool had been texting all my other friends about how much she was going to miss me and how she had started to fall for me too. Well none of them told me this because they had been watching me for years fall head over heels for this girl and how much it hurt me. But if I had known this I would have broken up with the new girl for her in a heart beat.
Well now a few years have passed, I’ve spoken to this old friend a few times in the past but thats about it and I’m now living with my girlfriend. We’ve discussed our future extensively, getting married, having kids, etc. I love her so much and I can definitely see myself growing old with her. But now and then I get overwhelmed by these thoughts about the other girl and what could have been. I think about what it would be like to spend my life with her.
This makes me feel like a horrible person because like I said I love my girlfriend and I know that if she were having thoughts like this I would be hurt and I don’t know what to do. I’ve thought about talking to her about this but I know it would hurt her because she knows how close we used to be. I guess thats it, I really need help working through this.
2 comments
If you’re not feeling it with your current partner then it is likely that your “soulmate”, or at least one of the many who could serve this role, is still out there. But in all likelihood it’s neither the one you’re with nor the one you miss from high school. Chances are you’ve yet to meet the person you’ll end up with forever. Good luck.
Love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment. As long as you are always wondering “what if” about someone else you’re not fully committed to your relationship which is kinda shitty to both your girlfriend and your relationship. The grass is always gonna be greener somewhere else.
It’s easy to look at someone else and say “if only” but you miss all the shitty things about them. Maybe they talk over people they’re dating, maybe they’re horrible communicators, maybe they microwave fish at home!
Sit down and figure out why you’re with your girlfriend. Recommit to your relationship. If you’re struggling with intrusive thoughts about leaving see about doing individual therapy and work through the issues you’re having.