I have an issue with keeping friendships at arms length bc I’m afraid of rejection, but it ends up being a self fulfilling prophecy. I had an internet friend I really vibed with, but he tried to get closer by inviting me to group VCs/DnD/gaming with him and that but I turned them down bc of social anxiety. I explained to him that I struggle with it and he was understanding at the time, but now he doesn’t talk to me. I tried reaching out but he doesn’t really chat and we are both active in the discord we are both in. Idk if he just got fed up and tired with my personality or whatever. I’m frustrated that I always seem to kill the spark with friendships, this has been one of many times it’s happened.
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You don’t have to reignite the friendship with this same guy. If he had been a cool dude he would’ve kept talking to you regardless. But you can just develop new connections instead whether through gaming or otherwise. And even when it feels like getting too close gets scary, don’t deny requests for interaction, virtual or otherwise. See if you can suggest the interaction under conditions that work better for you, something that isn’t as nerve-wracking. (For example maybe games that are just two-players, or places to hang out that doesn’t require as much talking or socializing (movies, hiking etc, an activity that requires more investment in something else other than just talking).