What is the fine line between being vulnerable and being un-masculine? Give an example.

18 comments

1. Vulnerable is when you’re being held down and pounded while enjoying it.

   Unmasculine is when you show you’re unsure….I think.

2. The fine line is pretty clear. If you want to be vulnerable but still considered masculine then you just need to be selective on who you show vulnerability to. Showing emotion to your spouses, close friends and loved ones is one of the toughest things to do in a climate that makes you feels as though you’re less of a man for doing so. Staying the same despite the world telling you that it’s wrong to be that way is the most masculine thing there is.

   Just don’t go getting your feelings hurt because of something someone insignificant said to you.

3. Maybe not what you wanted to hear but I find this very discussion to be the exact problem. Vulnerability should not be quantified on the same playing field as masculinity to begin with. The reason why it feels like a fine line is because many people, particularly women, have done this and now it’s in our heads too.

4. taking a shit in the deep woods. When hear a wolf howl u wont feel safe.

5. **Example 1:**

   Vulnerable: “Sex is extremely important to me, and if my sexual needs (and I use that word *on purpose*) are not met, then I will end this relationship.”

   Un-masculine: “I *need* you to do this for me. There’s no other choice. It *has* to be you.”

   **Example 2:**

   Vulnerable: “I feel left out by society. I worked hard, and I’m paid peanuts. I’m going to run as an independent, and convince each and every person in this district to elect me so I can fix the stupid.”

   Un-masculine: “They’re all the same, everyone in charge is an asshole and there’s nothing you, or I, or anyone can do about it.”

   **Example 3:**

   Vulnerable: “The culture at this workplace isn’t working for me. Is there some other department I could transfer to? If not, I’m going to take this external job offer.”

   Un-masculine: “I guess this is the way the world is, and I’ll just have to suck it up and kiss as much ass as everyone else.”

   **Summary**

   * Vulnerability is expressing your needs.
   * Masculinity is taking action based on them.
   * Un-masculinity is complaining without putting in the effort to change your situation.

6. Unfortunately, that threshold is different depending whoever is making the judgement. That’s why it’s best to only be vulnerable with someone that you deeply deeply trust.

7. Being vulnerable will be perceived by women as unmasculine

8. You can be vulnerable and masculine at the same time. Masculinity I don’t know that deep cuz I don’t have experience first hand but being vulnerable is accepting you’re human too you have feelings too and you can’t just shelf all the problems you have in your life. And let people help you and love you. And it doesn’t have shit to do with masculinity!!! Cuz for me a man can be masculine enough so I feel safe when I’m with him and at the same time vulnerable enough to let me in to help him grow, unwind and even polish his masculinity.

9. This is the wrong question to be asking. Vulnerability and masculinity are not on two opposite ends of the seesaw. Vulnerability is about being open and trusting. There’s absolutely nothing even remotely unmasculine about that. Overall, don’t worry about if you’re seen as masculine or not. That kind of shaming is grotesquely outdated. Literally just be yourself. If you notice that you lean towards more feminine qualities, embrace them.

10. Being vulnerable, according to my partner would be okay sharing something very personal and maybe even ashamed or guilty about. Maybe sharing a family secret or something bad that happened to them

    Unmasc or unmanly would probably be just being a lil bitch about something. Like being super butt hurt and crying over a friendly game of ball or football

11. Vulnerable: crying in front of your partner and letting her hold you and comfort you

    Masculine: letting your partner cry and you hold her and comfort her.

    I’ve dated some men that leaned on me emotionally but never let me lean on them as well. The men who have been able to support me in my time of needs have been seen as super duper masculine and attractive.

12. Vulnerability has nothing to do with masculinity. No one wants you to be vulnerable. Find ways to express yourself through hobbies you enjoy. This is why you see a lot of men playing sports or getting into things like car customization. It’s a way to evade, recharge before facing the world again.

13. There is absolutely nothing un-masculine about vulnerability. Men are human beings , with emotions, wants and needs. A man who can communicate these natural states, unapologetically shows strength actually, IMO. The night I knew I loved my boyfriend, was the night we cried together and he let me in. We’re all just human beings, at the end of the day.

14. Vulnerability and masculinity can go hand in hand

    Edit- saw someone say something insightful asf. Vulnerability is being vulnerable and at peace with your problems, masculinity is doing something about them. Shoutout to buddy who said this first, can’t remember username but go upvote him

    His username is TJDG

15. Vulnerable is what women tell you they want, un-masculine is what they think after you give them that.

16. Vulnerability is not the opposite of masculinity. They go hand in hand.

17. Never reveal a weakness to a lady, or anyone other than close, personal friends who you trust. You can cry watching that Gale Sayers movie or Old Yeller, but if you cry over anything else in front of a woman, you’ve lost her.

18. Those things have nothing to do with each other. Being vulnerable doesn’t make you less masculine.