I am trying to define the boundary between visual preference and fetish. Most examples that I’ve seen are edge cases, which isn’t too helpful, so maybe I will get closer to the answer here.
I am going to take a hypothetical example, I don’t mean to offend anyone. It’s just a demonstration, I am not expressing any of the following
Saying “I like ’em with freckles” is a fetish (and sounds gross). Yet, saying “I think freckles are cute” is a visual preference, and is something that most people would consider normal to say. What makes the difference?
One definition I saw is fetish is when you attribute a certain set of personal traits to a trait in visual appearance (the most common example – choosing a racial stereotype and liking/disliking a certain race based on that). However, I have never heard any stereotypes attributed to having freckles, and yet the example above is a fetish.
So yeah, what is the actual difference?
Thx!
5 comments
Fetish is being hyper fixed on someone/something. Everything else, like even personality takes a backseat. I see preferences as a cherry on top type of thing-other things still factor in & might even top the preference.
A fetish is something you need to get off. If that person could be literally anyone, with any features, except that they have to have that one thing (such as freckles) then it’s not a preference anymore. I do not believe when people say “I like them with freckles” is a fetish, it’s a preference; unless the person cannot get off with someone who doesn’t have freckles.
>Saying “I like ’em with freckles” is a fetish (and sounds gross). Yet, saying “I think freckles are cute” is a visual preference, and is something that most people would consider normal to say. What makes the difference?
I believe it would be considered a fetish if the person could *only* get aroused by someone with freckles and needed to fixate on them during sex as well.
Fetish means they can’t get off without it. So if a person literally couldn’t get off with someone unless they had freckles, that’s a fetish. Otherwise it’s just a preference.
“I love spanking” is a kink. It becomes a fetish if you can’t get off without spanking.
For me a fetish is when they only get aroused if the person has the desired feature and a preference is when it doesn’t effect them that much.