My boyfriend always asks me to wake him up for work by calling him. Sometimes I do sometimes I don’t. Unfortunately I’m not very consistent and often times wake up late. Of course this makes him upset and he’s late for work. We don’t live together and I have trouble waking up (I’m not in the least bit a morning person). He accuses me of not caring and cheating but in reality I’m not and I’m trying my best! It puts me down though, and I know it affects him, if I tell him to wake up with his own alarms he guilt trips me into saying I don’t care about him.
TLDR I can’t wake my bf up, we don’t live together and apparently it shows I don’t care.
43 comments
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What!? He is a grown adult who should take some responsibility for himself and have an alarm clock, this is in no way your fault or issue and doesn’t make you a bad girlfriend
No your not a bad girlfriend. It’s his responsibility to get himself up every morning not yours. It’s a bonus if you do wake up and talk to him not a necessity. Also he don’t sound like the most pleasant person are you sure you want to keep dating this guy?
Hes a grown man. He can set an alarm and get up on his own
If he’s showing toxic behavior this early in the relationship then imagine how he’ll treat you when you do move in together. He’s clearly unstable with his emotions and has strong insecurities.. because how does him not waking up for his own job tie in with you cheating? It doesn’t make sense. And him guilt tripping you is a form of manipulation. He is being an unreasonable, crybaby and I really hope you guys are teenagers because that’s just unacceptable behavior for a grown man.
No you’re not. He is showing manipulative tendencies by what you’re describing. You need to tell him you have your own needs and can’t always wake him up as he’d like. He needs to be a grown man and take care of himself since you can’t always do that. If he continues to be manipulative it’s up to you to decide if you want to continue the relationship.
Believe it or not it’s on him to get his lazy ass up. He’s using you as an excuse when he doesn’t get up. He needs to go to bed early enough to properly rest. Plus, he can use his phone’s alarms, an alarm clock and even some TVs can be set to turn on at specific times.
Not a bad girlfriend.
This is honestly very concerning. If you are expected to wake up earlier than you otherwise would just so you can be responsible to wake *him* up, it sounds honestly manipulative and petty. It sounds like you’re set up to fail and then he gets to put you down. You have reason to be upset and you shouldn’t be apologetic. He knows he’s taking a risk if he’s asking another non-morning person to wake him. Just stop agreeing to do it.
He is a grown man. He needs to figure out how to take care of himself. If his alarm doesn’t wake him, he needs to find a better one. You are not responsible for him and it is ridiculous for him to act the way he is towards you. If you dump him, he is going to figure out how to wake himself up real quick.
Start asking him to wake you up by calling 5 minutes before you’re supposed to call him, so you can wake him up by calling. Then when he doesn’t, apply the same logic he does. That’ll shut that behaviour down real quickly.
He’s an adult and has zero business demanding you to be his alarm clock.
He sounds like a child and wants you to be his mother. This isn’t you being a bad girlfriend, this is him needing to grow up
This can’t be real please lord 😭 if he’s this pressed over you not being his fucking alarm clock, I do not want to see how he would treat you in the event of an actual problem or misunderstanding.
Why are you with him?
Edit: sorry this anger seems directed at OP, it’s meant to be directed at her POS boyfriend. Apologies for confusion
You are not his parent.
This is OUTRAGEOUS. Whenever I see post like this I feel so much better about myself because the bar for dating is so low.
Do you want a boyfriend/partner or do you want a child? This is ridiculous. Tell your son to learn how to use the alarm on his phone or buy an alarm clock. I sincerely hope you stop wasting your time here. To get verbally berated for not being his mother figure? This is so gross to me.
Does he not know how to set an alarm on his phone or is he really that useless? He’s a grown man and needs to act like one
This is a classic control tactic so that he knows you have to be up and on your own in the morning.
He’s lazy and acts like a child. And he’s manipulative. Is this what you want for yourself?
It’s not your responsibility to wake him up for work. This is a ploy to try and prove every morning that you’re not in another man’s bed. He’s insecure to the point of paranoia and you should tell him you’ll leave if he doesn’t trust you to be faithful.
It’s not your job or obligation to wake him up. He can take steps to make sure he gets himself up in the morning.
So he wants a mommy to take care of him?
I’m glad people get perspective by posting stuff like this, but it’s just baffling that people like OP can think they’ve done anything wrong in this scenario.
Your BF is a baby, OP, it’s not your responsibility to make sure his lazy ass wakes up.
Short answer: No
This is ridiculous. He’s a grown man. It’s not your responsibility to wake him up. And the guilt tripping and making you feel bad is a huge red flag. If he behaves this way over something so little, imagine if you did live together. I’m not saying run away but be careful what precedent you allow in any relationship. He needs to grow up imo.
Is he 10? Tell him to grow up, and be responsible for himself. Unless you’d rather be his mom than his partner, keep encouraging this behaviour.
You are not a bad girlfriend. He needs to buy his damn self an alarm clock and use it. You are not his mother and if that is what he is looking for give him back to his mommy and find something new.
Throw the whole man away.
This is 100% him trying to control you and has nothing to do with waking him up. Refuse point blank to do it anymore and if he cries about it, replace the whole man.
You’re only “bad” in that you tolerate this guy’s bullsh*t and you’ve been coddling his obnoxious behavior. Any time someone just randomly accuses you of cheating you can be pretty sure they’re going to try to kill you someday. So maybe reevaluate your need to be in this relationship. Most people wouldn’t put with this nonsense. Good luck.
You’re his gf, not his freaking mother.
Every phone has an alarm clock.
Don’t you want to be with a grown ass man rather than taking over someone else’s mothering?
Sounds like he enjoys the power of having to be mad at you. Why does he need you to wake him up? Isn’t he an adult? I did this with one of my gfs and I would make her wake me up bc she had a kid that would wake up early normally.. But if she couldn’t do it I wouldn’t make her do it so I could be mad at her. That’s a red flag. I would tell him you can’t do it anymore… He is an adult and should wake himself up.. Like everyone else does.
Boy friend is old enough for a job, therefore old enough to set an alarm.
Why do you feel you have to wake him up to go to work its nice that you do but you shouldn’t have to or being made to feel guilty because you didn’t. It is his job and his responsibility not yours and he is not a child. Tell him call his mama to wake him and see what she says
Dump him and send him an alarm clock from Amazon. Men do this all the time. They just aren’t worth it.
Lol wut
are you his girlfriend or his mother? I swear to god, some people are just trash, and your boyfriend is one of them. Dump him.
Good lord girl. If he guilt trips you because you don’t have to wake up and want to sleep because you don’t call him to wake him up , it’s time to end it before it get worse ! Why doesn’t he use an alarm like the rest of the world ?!? I had an ex like this , everything was always my fault , he took zero accountability for anything , even when I had no control of the situation. He projected everything on me , it was awful and I wish someone had given me this advice ! Say bye and don’t ever look bad , he needs to grow the fuck up
You really shouldn’t be dating a 7 year old. That’s what you’re doing, right? Because nobody older than that needs someone else to wake them up.
Do you know what kind of women wakes people up in the morning so that they can be on time?
A mom.
Do you want to be his mom?
Weird and controlling behavior. Your call and an alarm are the same thing.
Is there a dynamic you’re leaving out? I mean is there some sort of Dom/sub thing goin on?
If not, then what’s to figure out? He’s a grown ass man. I mean does he date women just to have a personal wake up call every morning?
If’n ya stop and think on it, you’ll see how that progresses with time.
You don’t care because the house isn’t clean. You don’t care because the food isn’t on the table. You don’t care because you put the food on the table too soon and now it’s cold. You don’t care because you didn’t pack a fork in his lunch. You don’t care because the towels aren’t folded just right. You don’t care because you didn’t go to 15 different stores to get the laundry detergent he likes.
We all have choices. Mine would be to run
How do people put up with these types of guys and legitimately question whether they’re the bad guys?!
He a child who needs mommy. You are being his mommy here not his gf and unless you are looking for a child to take care of in a relationship, you need to break up and leave him NOW. Not only can he not even wake himself up, he wants to manipulate you into feeling guilty and lower your self esteem? Does he also ask you to wipe his ass? Hell no girl. Hve some standard and dignity. Get rid of him, he’s trash
You’re not a bad girlfriend. If your boyfriend accuses you if cheating because you can’t wake up it’s not worth it. He’s going to do it consistently probably throughout your relationship. If he has to rely on his girlfriend to wake up, to wake him up, instead of being a fucking man and setting an alarm or having a family member do it. It’s not worth it. Get out of there, run. I repeat it is not worth it.
If you absolutely want to stay with him. Work it out with him, let him know he can’t just rely on you for it.
Sounds like a Him problem. I’m sure he’s perfectly capable of setting an alarm on his phone if he doesn’t own an alarm clock.
If he has a smart phone he has an alarm clock
🤣🤣🤣 cmon now that’s a grown ass man. Who tf wakes you up? You do right, like cmon.
Hes an adult. He needs to grow up and be responsible for himself. He can get up on his own. You’re not a bad girlfriend because you dont wake him up.