Holy shit I need to get this off my chest. I am queer and was raised Orthodox Christian. I still believe in God but I can’t really go to church or be an open Christian because I’m trans and queer.
I am in a committed loving relationship and I love my boyfriend more than anything, we have been together for years. I love having sex with him. I don’t think sex is dirty and wrong. But sometimes when we get into it I am overwhelmed with an intense feeling of guilt, I start having intrusive thoughts about hell and about God hating me and it ruins everything. I hate it. Sometimes after sex I break down in tears and I can’t control it. What do I do? I literally don’t even believe in Hell but it haunts me
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I’m sorry you feel this way. So I bailed on religion long ago, but I want to try and help you because no one should feel this way.
Don’t think about God in the way religion tells you to. Religions have been changing what they “believe” for hundreds of years. None of the current religions have any idea what God would want. The Bible is written by people with agendas and opinions. Instead, think about what you think a God would be like. If there is a God, I don’t believe for a second he would have a problem with two men who care about each other being together. If there is a God, he would want people to be good to each other, to spread love, be kind, and take care of your fellow humans.
At the end of the day, the church doesn’t have any better idea of how people should live than anyone else. Are there some good ideas in religion, sure, but they get so much wrong too, and at the end of the day churches are just businesses trying to make money.
I hope this helps, and I hope you can learn to love yourself for who you are. Deep down, in your heart, you know what it means to be a good person and live the way a God would want you to. You don’t need to follow what a specific religion tells you.
Good luck and hang in there.
There is no God…….
You are felling guilt planted by the church.
Do really think something gives a shit about how many bad/dirty things you do,
There is no sky judge,
And if there is ask “how did you come to be gay/trans?”, perhaps a cruel joke of fate?
No you are not going to “hell”
Grow up, if there is a god he made you.
Be at peace
You get to decide for yourself using the mind God gave you. Lots of judgy people have lots of opinions that aren’t worth anything. Paul was one of the worst of them. I’m a Christian and I love getting my freak on. Nothing wrong with it at all.
There are open and affirming churches. I hope you can find one.