I (22 f) am dating (27 m). We have been together nearly 2 years and his family is very religious. They are apart of the LDS church and follow it very closely. My partner has not been religious since he was a child so he is the same level of religion that I am so him and I don’t have conflicting religious views or alignments. We try to be close to his family but when I am around them I hear the comments they make to me about drinking coffee, not being married, drinking tea, wearing shorts that are short,having pre martial relations, etc. I’ve have been told things that are really hurtful and I constantly feel shamed and that I am doing something wrong by going to Dukin Donuts. Does anyone have any advice on this? I do like these people and don’t say anything that could be interpretive as being disrespectful to their faith and religion. However- it gets to a point where I feel bad about myself and my life due to what they are constantly saying.
2 comments
I grew up LDS, and am now an ex-mo. I will tell you now there is a very slim chance that all this talk will go away completely. Especially from any extended family.
They have different values, and you can confront them or choose to not engage. So long as you love yourself and your boyfriend loves you his family’s judgments shouldn’t influence you. (fair warning if his family is anything like mine you may end up ostracized depending on how confronting them turns out.) All in all if you do choose to confront them I would say something like: “Not everyone has the same beliefs and that it may be kinder for them to keep their judgement to themselves, as their scriptures say judge not lest you be judged.”
Sounds like a situation I wouldn’t want to get into. Mind the age gap. And then the amount of control you will be under with all this religious shit. Trust me it will catch up. Get out