So, I used to really like having a certain style. I had a fancy leather jacket, several pairs of expensive ($300+) shoes, several nice tailored suits from boutiques. A top of the line Mercedes sedan. A few expensive watches.
Over the past decade, that stuff has mattered less and less to me. I donated my suits several years ago, along with my leather jacket. I bought a japanese SUV. Almost every day now, I throw on a t-shirt and a pair of Costco jeans. I wear slip on shoes.
I just don’t care. A friend of mine is getting married again and my first thought was ‘oh shit, i hope i don’t have to wear a tie’. Anyway, it’s odd that i spent so much time on my image – i think because I wanted people to be impressed by me, and now it’s all gone
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I’m doing my morning team calls in a dirty bathrobe I haven’t washed since Christmas so
I remember when I was young going to more senior type bars to watch how the older people dress and have a good laugh watching men in their 60-70s pick up women and the women there were looking for their next money fix. The guys would were gold all over themselves with the 9″ wide collars (something you would wear in the 70’s disco age) and the women were up to date in fashion. That was in to 90’s. Thinking God, don’t ever let me get this way.
Today, my suits are 20 years old and dusty, I wear work pants on my days off from work because they’re conferable and I’m looking for a site to help me become more up to date in fashion. My shorts and t-shirts are so old that they rip very easy, I can’t remember the last time I bought shoes. LOL
OMG I have become those old guys I’ve seen as a kid.
A casual look at most men could confirm this.
Dad bod is real.
I never cared about cars, but if anything my taste in clothes got more refined. Tailored shirts & suits, nice shoes, elegant perfume. On casual days I’ll wear a nice pair of jeans and a more casual shirt. Even more so when it comes to food – quality goes way over quantity these days.
Edit: Gents, I’m curious. Why am I getting downvoted for answering a question? You don’t have to share my taste/opinion, naturally, but what’s the point here?
I’m a similar age to you. I’m finding that “stuff” has never meant much to me. Like they say in Fight Club, “what you own ends up owning you”. In the first few weeks of the lockdown I started getting rid of things I didn’t need anymore and it was great.
However, in terms of appearance, I’ve never bothered with expensive clothes. I wear jeans and t-shirt almost every day. My job doesn’t require a suit.
In terms of looking good physically, I’m probably putting more effort into that because looking good correlates with health.
Read Your Life, Or Your Money and your prospective on “things” will change. Every dollar you spend takes time to earn, so spending money is essentially spending your time, and you only get so much time.
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I’ve always had the opinion that any jabroni can buy things, but those things have absolutely nothing to do with that person’s character. Respect doesn’t come with clothes and cars.
I don’t skimp anymore on clothing, I pay good money for good quality items that will last a long time because appearances matter in life, regardless of what people say. It’s better to have a quality wardrobe of classic items that fit and are durable vs just not caring which sends a message to yourself and everyone else.
I dress for me. Not for the crowd anymore. I tend to be reasonable current on fashion trends, etc…but I’ve always liked clothes.
I wouldn’t say I worry but at 32 I definitely take better care of my skin than I used to and make more of an effort with how I dress when I go out. I feel like I found my style in my mid twenties and I’ve just run with it as people often comment on my choice of shirt etc as I like wearing shirts with unusual, loud or off the wall patterns.
I certainly care a lot less about what people think of me than I used to that’s for sure.
I find myself caring more. Not to a level of luxury level mind you, but I’m comfortable in work pants and a button-up and I’m particular about my shoes/boots.
Quarantine has goosed me to start cutting my own hair and I LOVE it. I have a simple, short cut to begin with so now I can touch myself up on the regular instead of stretching it out to 6 or 7 weeks or longer.
I find that I’m just getting more tired and don’t have time to keep up with everything.
Fashionable people either spend a lot of time putting shit together nicely, or have some inate skill for it. I have neither of those.
All that being said, I find that as I get older (38 next month), I just focus on cleaner simpler more classic styling. I also lean on the more fashionable people I know to help me out, and keep me current and looking good. I’m not looking to impress anybody, but it makes me feel good and happy to look good.
I focus less on the dramatic articles of clothes and wacky shoes and just have my staples and go from there.
For suits n shit, I have 5 suits and dozens of pants and blazers and oxfords since I work in an office environment and business attire is mandatory for my field. I don’t have the most modern stuff, but there are enough studies out there that lean towards well-dressed fit people getting more opportunities, I consider my exercise and clothing budget to be investments in my own career progression.
All of the above isn’t to impress others. I just like feeling good, and looking good makes me feel good. Different strokes for different folks n all that.
Also, I drive a beat-up Mitsubishi RVR that smells like 5 different melted lipglosses my daughter leaves in the car….
Hmmm, I actually find myself growing into more of a style as I get older (near 40 right now).
That being said, I don’t care about having a fancy car or any of those type of objects, but I do like to dress fairly well and feel good in what I’m wearing.
I don’t wear suits hardly ever, but I do often wear blazers.
What’s funny is that many of my friends from 25 years ago + tease me about how I dress when I would consider how they dress to be pretty funny (pretty much same stuff they wore in college or high school). I guess that’s fashion for you.
I’m kind of the opposite. I don’t care at all about cars but my wardrobe has gotten more thoughtful, refined and generally better as I’ve gotten older. I am more willing to invest in higher quality clothes that will look good and last longer and I put more thought into how I dress than I ever have. Not *that* much thought mind you, but I do make an effort to look decent rather than throwing on jeans and whatever graphic T-shirt was on top in my drawer. I do some research for certain looks I want before I buy clothes instead of just getting whatever is on sale when I happen to be in the store. For work I have to wear dress pants, dress shoes and a button down, sometimes a suit, so that’s pretty easy to look good without a ton of thought.
As I get fatter and fatter, I find the opposite to be true.
Lol iv been this way since highschool
I find I am caring more but worrying less, if that makes sense. By taking a little more time and energy to look presentable I find I have confidence when I step out that door
I buy a new dress shirt every couple years. I’ve noticed in pictures from family events that I’m wearing the same thing at weddings in every picture lol. Other than that my jeans are from Meijer and I buy all my t-shirts and hoodies on vacation. I’m married and I don’t have to look cool anymore lol. Comforts better than stylish.
I spend my money on toys. I pride myself on a nice truck, projects I build and things I can have fun with. I don’t buy the nicest toys but I buy the best I can afford.
As far as trends and the appearance of success, I worry about it less – if I ever cared at all.
That said, I’m admittedly still somewhat vain and lift weights partly because I look good. It’s rad being in my 40’s and still catching girls looking at my arms or commenting on my butt once in a while. But I don’t bother with suits and expensive cars.
I’ve honestly never given a shit how people perceived me. Either people like me for the person I am, or they don’t matter at all because they’re shallow people that I don’t want to be around…
I want to focus more on caring less about opinions from know-it-alls and humblebrags. I’m single, not a high earner, but work a steady job as a state employee in healthcare (thankfully employed), and living in a multigenerational household in a high COL area (LA). I used to beat myself up for not being a homeowner, as “friends” with dual incomes would ask me condescending questions like “when am I getting my own home” or “when will I leave my retail job”. Well, Sally it must be nice to have a husband who makes 80k a year and I worked at JCPenny since the start of the recession in 2008 and was going to school at the time. I dont knock the hustle that they made to get where they are financially, I just loathe the way they talk to me sometimes because I don’t fit the narrative of a 30+ year who’s gotten married, have kids, a house, and etc.
Even after I tripled my income at the job where I am now, I get asked when I am getting my own home. See the trend here? No matter how much you go up or even what you wear or own, it will never be good enough for some people. Better to focus on what you’ve done to overcome challenges in life (been let go 2x and laid off once in my 20s) and be proud of those accomplishments versus worrying about what people who won’t even matter in the big scheme of things say or think about you.
In the last three years I’ve lost so much weight (to me) that I’ve had to re buy all my clothes several times over haha. In between then and now I definitely didn’t care what I wore. Just clothes from Value Village mostly that fit me. Now that I reached my goal size and weight I feel like I can actually spend a bit on clothes that are going to last for a while and I feel confident wearing clothes that fit me and look nice. I’m not wearing suits haha, but I do care about how I look. But it’s for me, not for anyone else.
I never cared that much about my appearance. I don’t think I care any less now. I mean, I don’t want to be fat (for many reasons, but appearance is one), and I don’t walk around unwashed (much), but beyond that, I just don’t care. IT’s fine because this is the type of person I want to attract also. Hell, even people in my field (IT/software) don’t care. People who are concerned with style and fashion live in a totally different world from me.
I also used to obsess over my clothing style. I spent my early twenties spending all of my disposable income on clothes and shoes. Now I have the same t shirt in 7 different colors and the same pants in 7 different colors and I just mix and match those with a good pair of comfy sneakers. It’s practical and I think I still look pretty decent.
I’ve definitely found myself caring less but that could also be because I’m in a happy, committed relationship so I don’t have to look my best all the time. I still work out just as much and everything but definitely pay less attention to what I wear unless we are meeting up with friends or something. If I was still single and looking I think I’d care about my look a lot more
Never worried much about clothes, cars, watches, etc. All I care about really in terms of appearance is fitness and sun protection.
Not so much that I don’t care about my appearance, more that I don’t care about be “fashionable”. I go more for comfortable, but quality, in my personal style. I like a nice watch, but it doesn’t need to be 5k+, a nice clean quality pair of jeans, a well fit t-shirt, that’s a go to for me.
This is total opposite of me. Well even on my 20s I was always stylish. Hip clothes. Double earring, dermo, latest watch and ice shoes.
But now I only wear button up shirt when I go out. Everytime I go out it’s like I’m going to a job interview. Even my wife tells me please don’t go out like that! We are just going to walk to the park!
Well I’m from Hawaii so bottom up aloha shirt is acceptable with short and slippers. But yeah I need to wear bottom up shirt going out.
Go with what works for you. It’s always good to have nice clothes when you need them, but why spend time and energy maintaining an image that’s not one that matters to you? If you’re a lawyer or something then yeah, work will require a certain appearance, but within the constraints of necessity your style should reflect what you want.
I know my style now is partly backlash against the years I spent conforming while working on a military base with conservative coworkers. Now I drive an old Nissan SUV with Burning Man stickers on it and I really don’t care if anyone approves or not. I never worry about getting it scratched going off road, and it’s a reminder that I’m not consciously choosing not to be part of a superficial, image-conscious rat race.
Quarantine is giving us all a chance to play around with that stuff. My hair is the longest it’s been since Basic Training, 24 years ago. We’re going to see a lot of changes to personal style in the next year.
Less and less, yes, but I still enjoy style and good quality clothing. I think it’s more about doing it for me vs. anyone else. I know I look good and feel good. I don’t particularly care if anyone else thinks it. If they do, it’s just a little bonus and I’ll happily take the confidence boost, but there’s no dwelling on it.
Basically it’s not that I no longer care about my appearance, it’s that I’m more mindful about why I’m doing it. I’m doing it for me.
I’ve been intentionally trying to improve my look after wearing sweat pants 3 sizes too big my whole life.. I’m sure turning 40 and coming off a divorce has something to do with it. I’m enjoying learning about what works for me though. Its been a process learning about what fits and looks good..
I’ve never really cared about what clothes I wear. I have been dressing the exact same for 25 years (converse, jeans and band t-shirt) Some of the shirts I still wear are actually from high school.
Definitely. I don’t care at all about how my face looks, except being clean. I care about style but I have always cared about that because I don’t like mainstream styles so much.
I have a different issue. I have been able to stay modern whole never really falling into dad’s like skinny jeans. Even today people say I look and dress younger then I am. Within the last year I have definitely began taking real interest in the way I look and smell. I used to buy 1 cologne and wear it till it was gone, now I have 10. I used to buy cheap throwaway razors and not I use a straight edge and bear trimmers. I used to get my hair cut once every 2-3 months and up until covid it was every 3-4 weeks max.
I don’t know why it’s gotten to me so much recently to care so much more then before but it has.
Oh yeah
Life goes on
Long after the thrill of living is gone
We walk on
​
John Mellencamp
I don’t see this as a bad thing. Seems like maturity to me.
Guessing you’re in a position professionally/personally where you don’t have to make a lot of first impressions.
If you’re established in what you do for money, and have a long-term partner, it’s easy to start wondering why others care so much about appearance. But here’s the thing: The way you look affects how others perceive you, which in turn affects how they treat you.
That being said, most of my wardrobe is also jeans and t-shirts, because I’m also fortunate enough to be in that position.
I do and I don’t. I buy a few name brand but I buy them used. IE, old Van’s I got on poshmark for $5, Jos A Bank jacket from goodwill. Salt life from poshmark.
I like being thrifty these days. But I find that namebrand stuff fits better and lasts longer.
Except Levis. I’ll go Wrangler over Levi’s any day.
Most days, though, I throw on a pair of swimming trunks (they’re comfortable, dammit) and the same old Vans shirt.
Also, I take better care of myself. Paleo diet and jogging a few miles ever other day is getting the weight off of me.
Well, I think people who buy those things are commonly trying to showcase a status, that they usually don’t have, or are insecure. Once you pass certain age, people learn that you don’t need anything superficial to be someone. In other words, people would still want to sit and talk with Bill Gates or Obama even if they were wearing a Casio watch and are driving a VW because their skills need no introduction. Maybe we are not in the newspapers or magazines, but if I were to offer you an opportunity to make a million dollars or solve a problem you have and I could sustain it with strong evidence, you would listen to me, even if my pants are from a big box store.
Still, there are people who would spend money on good things for enjoyment of the craftmanship. That is the main reason many horologists do spend hundreds of thousands on an ingenious watch, or someone would buy a tailored suit. I personally have a pair of expensive shoes which I wear 80% of the time. They do not have a big branding on top of them, but they are comfortable and I just resole them after 5 years, vs a disposable pair you can buy for $60-$100 in any store and that you need to throw away in just a year of daily use. I am a finance-quality geek so I do look for my best quality for buck.
When you try to look a certain way it’s because you want to be a certain person, but the expense and effort give away that you’re just posing. The same goes with hobbies.
As you get older you just are who you are.
I never did worry about them.
I wore a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers when I was 6 years old. I am in my 50s now, and still dress that way.
I always focused on buying safe, reliable cars with good gas mileage. If I could save $100 by going with a less attractive color, I would do that.
I only wear a suit and tie to weddings and funerals.
The dressiest I would get on dates (when I was single) was wearing a polo shirt. I am always in a t-shirt, so I focused on women who liked me the way I was.
I never really cared about what other people thought of how I looked or what I owned.