So this last 8 months I’ve been online dating and I find that I get pretty obsessed with some guys very early, like after the first date and more so with time. I developed anxiety a couple years ago and this is the first time dating with it, but it’s well managed at this point.
Like I think about them all the time, obsess over them texting me/texting me back, even last guy I dated for a couple months I would be up in the middle of the night thinking about him and it would be the first thing I thought of when I woke up. I think that ended because I asked for too much too early.
I rarely act on these feelings and don’t think I come off too strong.
Is it normal to feel like this and what can/should I do about it?
I’ve had relationships before but I’ve never dated looking for a relationship like now and I’ve also never been in love. I use to be hard core emotionally unavailable and only date people like that but I went to therapy and want something more! Just seems like I went too far to the other side.
And basically online dating for me has been one 2 month fling after another with what seem like great guys fading/ghosting/ coming up with some excuse when I bring up the thought of where do you see this going
4 comments
Give your attention to multiple people so you don’t latch on to someone prematurely.
I think it just comes down to finding someone thats just as crazy about you as you are to them. Me personally i love when someone cares about me and wants to talk to me all the time cause when i care about them them i do the same. There are limits like being at work or having responsibilities that need to be done that i have to focus on but someone that thinks about you and cares is a great thing. Ive met someone like you and loved every moment of it, but she didn’t wanna see me irl so that was a different case. I think its just you havent met someone that cares about people the same way as you so you will eventually meet someone that will love that about you. And ive been online dating for a year in a half so i can tell you online dating sucks and rarely works. Just because you haven’t met someone yet that loves that doesn’t mean that its wrong. Give it time and you’ll meet the one.
I had the same question last night! I’m glad someone bought it up :3
I know what you mean completely. I briefly dated a woman who was very obsessive early on(she had some pretty deep self esteem and attachment issues). For guys like me, it can be pretty off putting. I really would recommend just trying to stay balanced and keep your life and dating life separate if you find yourself becoming too obsessed. Dating requires vulnerability, and sometimes that vulnerability can be too much to handle; overwhelming. Especially when we are attempting to share it with someone we care about. Pace yourself with a man; not everything has to be a race. Remember that you are your own person. Your life should not be gravitating around someone; you deserve better than that.