Why should I try to be friends with people if they never want to be friends with me? I’m always going to be the last choice or the third wheel. I can’t connect with people enough for them to like me or have a sustaining interest in me. What the hell is the point.

13 comments

  2. This is depressive thinking. Fact is, you canā€™t predict what will happen, but if you believe you can, you will never be able to put yourself in situations where you can be successful.

  3. Iā€™m sorry you feel this way, the best way to overcome depression is called behavioural activation. Not necessarily saying youā€™re depressed just that you seem down. Behavioural activation includes doing things you donā€™t want to do, like reading a book, making a phone call, going on a walk. Anyways the more regularly you have these behavioural activations the happier you feel and eventually youā€™re no longer depressed. Easier said then done but please try and hopefully friends will come later. Even maybe find activities/volunteering to help meet peoppe

  6. I hear you. I have a terrible time making friends. I’m shy and introverted and (unlike my randomly-assigned reddit name) I am *not* a confident person.

    I stink at small talk, in part bc I detest shallow conversations and have zero interest in common subjects – sports, celebrities, movies…bleargh

    The thing that cracked it open for me was seeking out activities I enjoyed or was curious about. It puts me with a group of ppl already in a positive mood bc they are doing something they enjoy, and what we are all doing/exploring makes for a shared topic of conversation in a congenial atmosphere.

    Oddly enough, the more obscure the activity, the more it tends to create a warm atmosphere…

    I’m a software engineer. Unlike some coders, when I get home the last thing I want to do is look at a screen. I find pre-industrial-revolution technology to be a source of great joy. I’ve learned to spin and to weave and to knit and to sew my own clothes, and made great friends along the way just by being part of those communities.

    Some of where these wild ideas come from: childhood curiousity. I was fascinated by the pictures of the loom in The Emperor’s New Clothes. I was fascinated by the spinning wheel illustrations in Rumplestiltskin. As a kid in history class, I always felt cheated by learning only about kings and presidents and generals – I wanted to know how every day life back then worked.

    Go back to some of your earliest memories of curiosity and see where they lead – a child’s sense of wonder about how things work is a treasure we all carry.

  8. True. Death is merciful. Nature is evil. Human nature is evil. Everyone is just taking advantage of each other.

  10. Sometimes these thoughts take time to fade. They are not necessarily self harming if regulated but if this train of thoughts has no end then that does become a problem. Check the reason: Where it started, when it started, are there any triggers etc etc. These make us understand ourselves and shows us a way forward. May I ask how you started to feel this way and when?

  11. You’ve got to start by being friends with yourself. If you don’t like you, how do you expect someone else to like you? You’ve got to start with self-respect and self-care.

    Step 1: Clean your place.

    Clean it like you’re trying to impress somebody you’re interested in. Just make that person you and get to cleaning.

    There’s more to come but let’s start there first because that’s the beginning.

  12. I think you should live your life and do what makes you happy until you stumble upon the people who will make you happier:) They will come! (Eventually). Try to just do everyday tasks bla bla and not think about the loneliness

  13. I am in the same boat. Mostly no one calls/text unless I calls them first which means I’m not in their priority list or may be not interested enough. I have accepted the friends would cycle through my life, Luckily few people have been able to stick with me from last 5-6 years which I appreciate and cherish and put my efforts only in these relationships. I would suggest you same to stick only with those who can stick with you. Don’t rely on people for your happiness, I spend time with my family or do whatever I want to do and focus on my goals/dreams.

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