hello! i will be going to university soon, and would like to ask how i can make new friends during orientation stages. personally, i find it very hard to make friends during orientation camps because after talking to the new person for a while, i would be quiet for the rest of the day becus i cannot think of anything to say unless the other person talks a lot. my head just goes blank especially when theres nothing particular happening at the moment that i can talk about.
this has been the case every time i go to a new school and meet new people, and it has always led to me feeling lonely in orientation camps. i dont know if its social anxiety or something but i really dont want that to ruin my uni days. o eventually do make some close friends in my own class but it usually takes a while.
also, i heard from one of moistcritical’s recent videos that getting advice from reddit for social skills is a bad idea, since he said that it turned him into a loner in uni. but i really dont know where else to look đ anyone got any advice?
2 comments
My advice would be threefold.
First, keep in mind that at uni orientation programs most people do not know each other in advance. Thus, there is probably a lot of them that feel similar to you. Going to orientation with such a mindset might help you to relax and be more open.
Second, when seeking for conversation topics with strangers just remember that people LOVE to talk about themselves more than anything else. Therefore, try to be genuinely interested in the other people and simply ask them questions about their life/likes/hobbies/experiences/goals/dreams/etc. Also, use their responses to provide some genuine compliments, and to introduce some facts about yourself in the conversation as well. Most people will often use such information to ask you questions back and that will keep the conversation running.
Finally, do not be scared of brief silences. Remember that a conversation is a (at least) two players game. If you run out of anything to say, simply smile and wait for the other person to say something. More often than not, someone is going to come up with a topic idea to keep the conversation going. In the (unlikely) case that not and the interaction turns awkward, simply say something on the lines of âOkay, it was nice meeting you. See you aroundâ, and go find someone else to talk.
Idk about orientation, but you can definitely try to form or get in on study groups in classes (they tend to form a week or so before the 1st test) as you will all have the common interest of trying to do well in a specific class. Or joining clubs where you will also meet people with similar interests. Orientation just seems very random.