Hey fellas what’s the most ridiculous flex you’ve ever done to impress someone?

12 comments

1. Butt flex.

2. Talking about my 40+ job history.

3. Bang their mom.

4. Dropped 2 grand at a bachelor party because the girl thought I was just one of his broke freinds

5. When I was in my late teens /early 20’s I really wanted to impress this girl I was hanging with a buddies house with a few other people, so I tried to do this amazing behind the back double bank shot to nail the 8 ball into the side pocket. No fucking way I was actually going to do it but I was showing off.

   Well I fucking made it like an old seasoned pro…and no one saw it.

6. Give a lecture in my own class 🤪

7. Invested most of my savings in a random crypto start-up to convince her I was some kind of financial wizard on the make

8. When I was young and dumb I bought a round of drinks for the entire club.. had no idea it would cost over $2000 before tip.

   My total bill at the end of the night ended up closer to 3k, I just put it on my credit card and had to work overtime to pay it back in a reasonable time. Oh to be 20 years old again and completely brain dead lol.

9. Built a smaller replica of the Christmas tree from the Trail of Lights in Austin to propose to a long time girlfriend since Christmas was her favorite time of the year, got her pastor, stepfather and a some of the Bible study group to help. She said yes, cheated 4 months later then tried to baby trap me with the other man’s child.

10. I was an enlisted Air Force weather forecaster and had completed a deeply detailed forecast review of a severe weather event for which we had 9 hours of lead time for the warning and a ten minute timing error. To put it plainly, I warned the installation that a severe weather event, in this case winds in excess of 50 knots, was going to occur 9 hours in the future. I verified my warning with an observed wind reading in excess of 50 knots around ten minutes earlier than I had warned for. For those who know, that’s about as balls in accurate as you can get. I was awarded for it by the Secretary of Defense. The review I had completed was used as a template Air Force wide.

    As part of my professional development, my supervisor recommended I present my review to the local NWS annual conference. It was a small event with maybe about 100 or so attendees. Some local media people like TV meteorologists, EMA people, Boy Scouts, etc.

    I was in uniform. Military uniforms show rank and sleeve stripes indicate enlisted ranks. I was not a commissioned officer. I didn’t have a degree in my field.

    Anyway, I get to the event and am sat at a table with an on-air meteorologist and some other people. The TV guy was an asshole. He kept asking condescending questions like “oh your commander made you come to take notes?” and “come to learn how real forecasting is done?” I assume that because I was enlisted, he couldn’t understand that I had experience in his field.

    When it was my turn to speak, I went up and started my presentation. At the very beginning of my speech, I had news articles and clips from local news broadcasts that mentioned only a slight chance for adverse weather and one specific clip that said there was no chance for severe winds as far south as we were in relation to the frontal system. The meteorologist who made that claim was the asshole at the table I was seated near.

    I fully expected to field many hostile questions from that shitbag but he had left by the time I got to the questions portion of my presentation.

    I only went so hard in the paint to try and impress the NWS staff there because I was angling for a recommendation to an elite joint civilian / military assignment.

11. I can still remember an Office 2000 install key I memorized. Wdrqd-fr4ry-vprcv-j627t-2qbky
    Flexed this at a party and got a good laugh.

12. I’m a private pilot just as a hobby and for a first date, I picked a girl up in my plane and took her to the Florida Keys for lunch. (We are still dating)